OLDER POSTS
As is custom, I will start by ritualistically typing a typo. Clickety-click, sound of fingers typing "a typo" (that's 2 words, done)! I shall now await Pedro's microscopic spelling and grammar check report. LOL, or not. Anyhoo... This post was Brought to You by the Letter Zzz. Lame jokes aside (followed by even lamer jokes), the real reason why I'm here today is to reply to a comment Petrus Patronus wrote exactly 11 months and 25 days ago. So, how late is late?
Huh. So a cat apparates in my presence whenever I'm eating? Well, that's just... creepy...
Pedro aka Petrus aka some dude's doppelgänger drops AWESOME comments, such as:
"2 weeks? Well, congrats for eventually releasing this post. On an unrelated note: Sigmund Freud postulates that during the 1st to 2nd year of existence, babies undergo a phase where they learn the "ability to give or withhold gifts at will". People who are stuck in this stage may over-analyse details and may continue to withhold things due to perfectionism. Perfectionism may ostensibly appear to be procrastination, when in fact the perfectionist is not bound by indolence but by abnormally high self-imposed standards. It is quite a breakthrough when an individual learns to relieve themselves of this burden of perfectionism. How many postings are left unpublished? This blog needs an enema! Haha, just kidding."
What would old Siggy say about kids who weren't toilet trained by their parents? I was toilet-trained by 2 nannies. Performance anxiety? I had a great comeback, too. But alas, my inner internet retard took over. So it's not a case of l'esprit de l'escalier (slow with witty retorts)... I lack wit. (LOL WUT? I'm predisposed to enjoy silly low-brow humour + poop & sex jokes.)
The other day, I bought a huge Tootsie Roll. I don't even LIKE Tootsies. Hard faux chocolate. "Whoah, it comes in Giant Bar size?" A curious kid in a candy shop. But unlike the naked boy who pesters animals about how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop... OK, I was more vexed about the bar resembling a long piece of turd. And unlike the Tootsie boy, I LIKE smart owls.
Click on a thumbnail to view a larger version (the creepy Patronus LOLcats, Max and B-Cat):
Oh, that photo of a big bowl of stew (more like a soupy sauté)? Mom's dish of red peppers, tomatoes, celery, onions, garlic, herbs, spices, chicken stock, a bit of ground chicken and long squash from Aunt Cora's farm-like home garden. Yummy. And I don't even like squash.
Movement is imminent. Lurking in the bowels of cyberspace. Da-dum-da-dum-da-dum... Or maybe not. And yet another one of my silly videos starring a cat that looks like it might do something... but doesn't. So very... anti-climatic. Bad Cat (B-Cat) doing what he does best:
Wax apple on, wax apple off. Yawn. (I blame this entire post on cheap Tim Hortons lattés.)
Au revoir,
Massa P aka "Kellogg's Fruity Poops"
@Nix: My 'food' posts are rarely literally about 'food'. Something else... LOL.
I... thought this post was about food. =\
@Pedro: Question marks, exclamation points, ellipses, periods, commas and many words like "and", "or", etc. in post titles have little SEO benefit. Title should be up to 11 words (70 characters) and contain keywords for which you want to optimise. Hmm, I should remove those ellipses...
Also, there is some SEO benefit to misspelled words. I'm beginning to re-think my stance on spelling things the British way. For example, I spelled "optimise" (see above) instead of American "optimize". More search engine results for American spelling. (Maybe I'm being serious. Or likely not.)
Clever, Waldo. But the writing is also on the Willy, "Peter".
@Jude: Yes, you do. SRSLY, that 300 stuff is SO yesterday.
"To s & s or to s, d , p & tr", that is a question. Not in a philosophical sense; srsly, you should add a question mark.
Your tendencies to use italics (or Italians) to encode cryptic meanings is interesting. Ironically, sometimes concealing things make them more conspicuous. The writing is on the Waldo.
Signed,
xaxa
Defamation! Troll! I do NOT see penis everywhere! I do, however, see my penis every day.
300 penises. HA!
@Jude: Answers:
1. You have to Google? Sad. :-P
2. Spoilers. What do you want, a gold star?
3. Who is Pedro? You tell me.
4. Penis? No penises here. Your brain sees penis everywhere.
5. Shut up with the 300 stuff, LOL.
6. What do you have against B-Cat? B-Cat hates you, too.
@Zerovoltage: Yup, "upo". I don't really like it (bland) but I like what my Mom adds. Bacon!
@Sash aka Farm Boy: No more veggies! And... snow videos? LOL WUT?
OK... weird but cute. I require feedback on the following:
1. Why do you force me to Google shit to understand your posts?!
2. Petrus Patronus is a word play - Italian maker of microscopes. And Harry Potter?
3. Who is Pedro? Is Pedro.. Pietro Parker?
4. What's with the PHALLIC stuff in your recent entries?
5. 300. 300. 300. 300. 300. NOW.
6. More Max! Less B-Cat.
Hmm... I never knew that "Upo" was known as long squash. :-P Looks neon on the pic.
And yeah, the Tootsie Roll looks like a turd! LOL. I haven't had one in a long time, can't even remember how it tastes. Must buy one. :-D
HAHAHA! So you really weren't kidding about the garden vegetables. Are you a vegetarian again? And do veggies get you 'regular'? :-P **I've been lurking.**
I love the tweaks to your layout! RAWRR! Monster-fied? LOL! More snow videos. :-P