OLDER POSTS
Admit it, the title got your attention. Perked up those pervy eyes, huh? Yes, S-E-X SELLS. ;)
Now, before y'all presume that this is a post about ME "searching for sex in all the wrong places", I'll nip that thought in the bud. No, it most definitely is NOT. Besides, I always know where to look for sex... ehrrr, strike that, let's not go there. This post is about what my dear readers (YOU) are entering in this blog's Search box.
The first 5-day results are amusing (to me at least). LOL. ;-)
Go ahead, click on the thumbnail on the left to view a larger image. Your pervy eyes are dying to know the results, right? I installed a buggy, but still nifty WordPress plugin called Search Meter which tracks the search terms entered by people. Within my WordPress admin view, I can see searches made "yesterday, today, last 7 days and last 30 days". It doesn't show me who made them, but it shows me the terms (the text that was searched), searches (the number of times the term was searched), hits (the number of posts that were returned from the last search for a term), and the stats for searches that yielded no results. It's useful for bloggers who want to write topics based on the more popular search terms submitted... a give 'em what they want strategy. That's not going to happen here on fruityoaty.com because crazy fruity writes for herself.
Since the birth of my blog on August 29, 2006, I reset the Search Meter. Before y'all accuse me of tampering with the results, I did NOT use the Search box after the reset. All current results are based on YOU, my dear readers (and I can count the piddling number of readers on my 8 fingers and 2 scarred thumbs).
Let me sum up the results by dropping the search terms into people / behaviour categories (heh):
- Horn Dawgs (I can guess who YOU are): sex, girl on girl action, naked booty, porn, suck cock
- Tester Wannabes / Hackers: 1 + 1 < 3, < script >, < script language='Javascript' >, can you see my search words?, ooo .. bad search words!!!
- Bored & Has Nothing Better To Do (see related Tester Wannabe's): hehe, d'oh, hmm, lllllllll, meh, fruity oaty
- Vanity Seekers Or People I Know: Hodges
- Lonely Existentialist: meaning of life
- Dropped at Birth: secret posts
My final thoughts on the above: ;-)
- To the Lonely Existentialist - You're just not going to find the meaning of life in a blog, let alone mine...
- To Dropped at Birth - Do you really think that you'll find secret posts by entering "secret posts" in the Search box? Seriously, I'm not stupid enough to tag my secret posts with the words "secret posts", but I AM stupid enough to tag them "private". That was a joke, in case it flew over you.
- To all the Horn Dawgs - Take a cold shower. This blog is Rated PG.
Oh, lastly, I did notice 2 OBVIOUS bugs in the Search Meter plugin (a Tester Wannabe or Bored & Has Nothing Better To Do... indirectly helped). The plugin seems to double up the numbers in the Searches column and erroneously counts 404 page/no results as 1 hit. I either have to fix those myself with my fledgling (or is that floundering, yes?) PHP skills (or lack thereof), notify the plugin author of his booboo OR mentally divide the numbers by 2 every time I look at the stats. Umm yeah, contact the plugin author, it'll be.
Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity"
[EDIT: The plugin author has fixed the "duplicate search results" bug in version 2.1 released on November 19, 2006. Tested it - fixed! Yay! Whatever. Hehehe.]
I don't know if Blogspot has that search meter thingy. It would be interesting to see what people have searched and suddenly got my blog.
Will you be serving snacks and refreshing beverages at your cult headquarters? ... been staring at your image of the 3 waving Bonkers girls from Azumanga Daioh for a solid 2 minutes now. Strange.
@Valerie: Damn hackers, damn you all. Use your skills and get a legit job, wankers. I got a couple of spam that Akismet didn't catch. I don't know how I got spam already because my blog is barely advertised and probably never will be (besides piddling Technorati hooks, which I'm still fiddling with... and the chances of getting traffic on my blog... is pretty small, it seems).
@Jude: Worship moi? Cool. So how many members does one need to start their own MURDEROUS cult, like that one for that Indian goddess "Kali"? (HAHA). Everyone's welcome to join except Hodges. :-D
Dude, we took a guided tour of the new Rose Theater today... it was beautiful (a little conservative in design, but I guess it's in keeping with the 'burbs and vibe of the downtown core). I'll put up my shitty pics. Let's go see a play there, yes?
Will there be hot gay men... and why am I excluded? Tears, tears rolling down my beautiful face. :-(
We worship you. But seriously, a porn-free zone? I'm somewhat disappointed. :-P
Umm my 2 cents:
"#2 Tester Wannabe's: 1 1 , , can you see my search words?, ooo .. bad search words!!!"
My thinking is that this could very well be hackers and spammers. Damn hackers and spammers!!!! Now hopefully my blog will not be hacked.