Formerly "A Fuck You Letter to Hackers, Haters, Spammers, Stalkers & Trolls".
But I chose to go a different route with the post title because my sister who reads my blog frowns furiously when I swear - "swearing is low-class, lazy language". And she advised me to refrain from writing a confrontational entry that would invite more trouble from... fuckwads. (Ooops, what? It's hard to take the high road, OK?) Umm, the original post began like this:
"The veil of anonymity the internet provides us with enables y'all to yap your traps without any fear of repercussions. I'm not discomforted by the unfounded, unproven "truths" of which you speak because I value only the opinions of reasonable people. What discomforts me is that no matter how many times I respond to your dimwitted retorts, there's no way we'll ever come to an understanding... short of me shoving my wide foot up your ass. And this being the internet, I'm unable to do that.
To the trolls who stalked me on my social networking spaces and to the hackers who porked my blog... GET A LIFE. Because my life? Not that interesting. I know.
I don't mind people expressing an opinion. But when people use language that degenerates into racial or ethnic hatred, I'm going to delete the comment. Tough shit! Haters to the left. Sane, smart and sexy people to the right. My right... fucktard.
As for human spammers, even if y'all do take the time to type out your shit, I see your motives and scummy links. I moderate ALL comments. DELETE. And death to bots!"
I started reading 8 months of unread blog e-mail. Vitriol. Pork you, pork me, pork everybody. But vitriol begets vitriol, so I abandoned that path of stress. I choose Zen and serenity now. Ohhhmmm... I want a pork sandwich. Ohhhmmm... or grilled / BBQ pork on pointy skewers?
Yeah, so I differentiate the term "grilling" from "barbecue / barbeque / BBQ / Bar-B-Q". To simplify, grilling is cooking food over a direct or high-heat source for a short time and BBQ is cooked over an indirect or low-heat source for a longer period. I mostly grill these days. Whether you call it shish kebab, kebap, kabab, kebob, kabob, kibob, kebhav, kephav, qabab, brochette, satay or souvlaki, I seem to prefer my grilled / BBQ foods cooked on a stick. Beast on a pointy stick is dangerous, portable food. Very caveman... with spear. Me hungry. Kill.
The first photo above is a plate of my Mom's "Ginger Lime Soy Glazed BBQ Pork, Grilled Onions, Scalloped Potatoes, Salad & Rice".
Click on a thumbnail to view a larger version. More pork nom nom nom:
On the left, a heaping platter of Mom's "Ginger Lime Soy Glazed BBQ Pork" garnished with green onions and lime wedges. On the right, Mom's "Orange Soy Marinated Grilled Pork Skewers & Onions". Recipes? Eh? Garlic, ginger, soy sauce, sugar, citrus... be creative.
When I'm not at home to enjoy my Mom's cooking, I get my pointy sticks fix at my local Greek restaurant. Mmm, "Pork Souvlaki Dinner with Greek Salad, Rice, Pita & Tzatziki". Garlicky.
So, excuse my manners while I eat my supersized serving of Weezer's Pork and Beans.
In the meantime, to all you fuckface spammers, let me introduce you to Les Grossman:
OK, so now that I got that OUT of my system, back to posting pics of fat cats. Whatever. :-P
Massa aka "fruity oaty bar"
P.S. Waiting for the hate mail from hardcore, militant vegans and vegetarians offended by the pork parade. And to that I say, "May the Tofurkey Force be with you. Peace. And bacon."