OLDER POSTS
Longest pizza in North America! And the wondrous inverse effects of slacker blogging. ;-)
I'd started to write a fantastically nonsensical food porn-metaphor story, but it made about as much sense as the adults in Peanuts when they talk, "Wawa-wa wawa wa, wa wa-wa". Good grief, Charlie Brown. Speak plainly. In an effort to retain first-time visitors, I'll try to write more transparent, frequent and shorter posts without losing my current stalkers. (Maybe I am fibbing because I write to please myself and some stalkers.) I have a blog with 90 posts, 1,989 comments... and little traffic. I started to care about that trickle when I realised that Google AdSense clicks could probably pay for Hi-Speed Internet service. Still... I am iffy about doing "paid to post".
Strangely, my blog's readership has actually increased as I write less... an average of two silly entries per month. Probloggers will tell you that good content and frequent updates are important to keeping your readers warm and fuzzy, none of which I apply. Then, how to explain the anomaly? I like to think of my blog as a black hole. Maybe it's so dense, it defies the laws of physics and light refraction. (Déjà vu. From where did that come?)
In a bizarre turn of events, my Ratified.org rank recently rose from #79 to #19 as of writing! Ratified.org is a directory that measures the Top 100 Filipino blogs based on Alexa rank, Yahoo! Inlinks, Google PageRank, and number of FeedBurner subscribers. Ratified.org was developed by Andrew dela Serna. My theory is that my rank rose because of an increase in FeedBurner subscribers which is probably because of exposure from participating in the 10th Philippine Web Awards. (Hello, pal of mine... So, your USD $5 nomination fee didn't go to waste after all... Thanks.)
Once the suckers realise how densely silly my blog is, they'll unsubscribe. :-P I would like to thank all my 300+ subscribers, but I don't know your names.
To sum up, if I learned anything from years of writing business documents, it's this: customers are not your fuzzy friends. Unlike your pals, they won't tolerate rambling on and on and on... In a cool statistic that I just totally faked, you lose 69% of readers for every 6.9 seconds they spend weeding through your crap. OK, so if you see shorter entries, now you know why.
Oh, the photo? Record for Longest Pizza in North America on 7-7-07. 165 feet! CAD $1 per slice. A pizza store near the childhood house of my cousin.
Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity I Am Not Dead"
P.S. In a cool statistic I just made up, 69% of y'all want to say, "Brevity is the soul of wit." Lies, damned lies, and statistics. (Size does matter?)
Yum... Yum... Yum... :-D
I should not have seen this, now I'm hungry again. :-(
Long time no see!!! :-) Looks like you're a mystery... You struck the readers' curiosity which is very human nature, added to your natural humor... You're great! Now you believe when I voted your blog as influential. :-)
Damn you Fruity and your food posts! *drools over pizza* And oooh, a food porn-metaphor story? Hmmmm...
That's an interesting theory you've got going there about ranking. Shorter entries definitely do make for better reading. I think the majority of web browsers just skim read.
By the way, you have been tagged. :-|
Fruity, you have been tagged. :-D
Passin' by...
I love reading your posts, whatever they are about or how long they may be!
But that pizza is making me seriously hungry... Maybe it's time to make some dinner...
And now, if I can only get my rating as good as yours. Hopefully, my contest will help. Want to join?
How to get more suckers? :-) I thought it's only in the Philippines that people care about the longest & biggest stuff.
And by the way, your blog looks neater now (hope I can clean up, too). :-P
My host goes through Smorty and enjoys doing the paid posts. Being a stay-at-home mom, it helps pay the bills.
It seems like a lot of people are not getting as many comments on their site. It must be because it is close to Christmas and they are busy.
Wow, that's one long pizza. I can't say it looks to tasty though, LOL. :-P
Unlike you I have to blog almost every other day and comment on like 50 blogs each day to get visitors to my site. Now that my computer is broken and I can't get online everyday, my visitor number is almost zero, LOL. :-P (OK, maybe I exaggerated a little, but you know what I mean.)
You know, I've been reading your blog since... forever. Hmm, but to be honest, I miss the old fruityoaty. Where did she go?
Heya fruity!
Awww... I luv them really long pulpy posts. Size does matter. Haha.
Anyway, I also do not believe that "Brevity is the soul of wit"... I think it is tangential thoughts rolled into an entry and letting people interpret it... like abstract paintings or Bush's speeches.
I'm back to blogging. New domain! Woo hoo! :-D
Oh, hi, fellow Canadian! I'm just a Vancouverite, so I don't have that much experience of snow.
All I have to say about that picture is... that's a REALLY long pizza.
SHORTER POSTS?! I'm looking for the horsemen.
Mmm, the pizza looks good. And I didn't even hear about that.
Imagine how popular you'd be if you wrote every day! fruityoaty would be the new Google! =D
What is wrong with paid posts? Heck, I don't care what probloggers say. Every blogger has their own reasons why they write what they write or post what they post. Do statistics really matter? To me, it doesn't. Still, I'll read your blog. ;-)
I come back for the porn... er, food porn that is! :-) Mmmm PIZZA...
It makes me confused comparing my traffic to what probloggers say. So now, I don't really care basta nasusulat ko yung gusto ko at kumikita ako.
I'm also one of your stalkers, hehehe.
You surely retained me when I first visited your blog. I've just started my first blog myself. It seems so small compared to yours (and to many more out there) that I feel like I'll never have so many comments as you do. I like your blog.
Did you taste that piiiizzzza?
That is one Lonnnnng Pizza. I don't think I'd know what to do with one that large.
I usually take importance on the readers rather than the traffic itself. But I usually check once in a while to see if you have new posts.
Sorry, I just had to delete my blog anyway.
I also don't like paid posts. It's not that I'm rich or whatever. I just don't like the pressure.
Oooohh... long pizza!
Woooh, that's one loooooong pizza. Does it come with spice? Talking about spice... were you in the reunion concert of the Spice Girls??? :-D
I'd say the reason your stalkers keep coming back is the anticipation of a great thing. :-D I know that's why I come back.
Mmm, that pizza picture is making me hungry. Grrr, must put away the lappy-top and grab some grub!
I never really cared about PageRank and all that. Although I tried doing "paid to post" stuff, but it just made me so lazy to blog and it felt like blogging became more of a responsibility than a hobby, you know? But wow... #79 to #19? That's a pretty big change. Congrats to you! =]
At one time, a friend PM'd me, asking me how to get money out of blogging. Of all people, why me? I'm not a f'n problogger, damn it! And I blame probloggers for that!
You see, I write because I want to and it also enhances my self-expression and creativity. I have a metaphorical style of writing [almost], so I don't think paid posts fit on that.
I love pizza. I can even kick the Ninja Turtles' butts with my love for it. And that very long pizza made me hungry. And when I get my hands on that, I'm willing to devour it bit-by-bit! Bwahaha. >:)
What I'd do for some of that pizza. Wow! Yum! If I was there, I'd just eat it 'til they'd have to roll me away. That was some awesome food porn, fruity.
Size only matters if we're talking about pizza! Uh, what was this post actually about? Hehe, j/k.
Your friendly pizza-whore,
Marni ;-)
In every theory there is an exemption... You are a very interesting blogger. ;-) Have a great week ahead!
I'm obliged to say I tagged you though I'm not expecting much at this point, LOL.
Side note: I love "Be Be Your Love". I was playing a bunch of Rachael Yamagata songs yesterday. I was a bit confused when I heard it play. I checked which of my music players was playing it. LOL.
Haha... readers love hearing fascinating stats, at least I do!
Wow, grabeng pizza yan! Hehehe... uy mas masaya parin dyan sa Canada kesa sa Pinas. :-P
Personally, I'm against having any ads on a personal blog, but I can't say I'm not tempted to do those ad blog entry thingies that people have on their blogs. They really do seem to make quite a bit... Then again, it doesn't cost much to keep a blog online, anyway?
Also, wow... that pizza is... how?!
This post was good... but I think the food porn would have been great. Hahaha!
Fruity, you are that anomaly which no problogger can truly explain... You are just one of the many mysteries in this world. :-P
No matter what your statistics say, I'm addicted to you fruityoaty. :-P
Would love to have a slice of that pizza!
:-) I'm not that conscious when it comes to that ranking stuff, but new visitors, new guests, and frequent flyers wouldn't hurt, of course.
I'd like to believe that you can get a wide readership by making beautiful entries which is anatomically good and physiologically sound. Precisely like this one. ;-)
Holy pepperoni! How did they fit that pizza in the oven?
Heh, 69% huh? Very cool fake statistic and I suppose it would be just about right really. I ramble a lot. Just like I'm doing now.
Wowee... a pizza that big! O_O
I'm one of your stalkers. >:)
And the long and short of it, size does matter. For pizzas, I mean. :-D
OH FINALLY!!! Hahaha. :-P Well I was saying, probloggers shmobloggers. We blog for our own thing you know?
And maaaan, that is one long pizza. Short or long posts, you know I'll aways be reading. ;-)
I don't really care what probloggers say. ^^; I'd take your statistics any day. :-D
I'm glad you're not gonna do paid posts. Though you'd probably come up with the most interesting paid posts ever. XD
But I have to say, I prefer your lengthier posts. :-)
( And your streaming vid reminded me that my I'm Not Dead CD is missing. T_T )
Maybe we keep coming back because you represent the repressed fruity oaty within us all! Food porn sounds equally fantastic. Looking at food online subsequently makes me happy which in itself is a sad fact.
"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that." - The Simpsons
My dad told me to take care of kitties, especially ones without tails (they're irresistible) coz they'll help you get to heaven when you die (the other life). So maybe the kitty gods are helping you in this life.
Haven't had a pizza in decades.
It's the content not the quantity then :-P that's quite a boost. You have many fans! :-D
Ummm, pizza. *drools* :-D
A few thoughts:
1. I'm sensing you're holding back again... Probably originally intended as a veiled sex joke, ha.
2. Have you considered that your stalkers are crazy like you? :-P
3. Long/short, it doesn't matter. You could write about "Keynesian economics" and I'd still read it. Actually, I'm curious to see what you'd do with a "paid to post" topic.
4. Where is my "300 Movie, Part 4" blog post?! Liar.