Breakfast, served. It's National Blueberry Pancake Day! OK, I'm not American, but I can still enjoy my Mini Blueberry Buttermilk Oat Pancakes and Cheesy Salsa Scrambled Eggs. Yum.

Ahh, those gun-toting wacky Americans celebrate a national food holiday every day of the year. January is National Oatmeal Month? Fruity + Oaty + Pancakes? Hell yeah, PURE WIN.

I usually think of pancakes as yummy weekend comfort food that's essentially nutritionally bankrupt. Heck, it's mostly just white flour, a bit of fat, liquid, eggs and SYRUP GALORE. But it can be an everyday healthy breakfast if you throw in the goodness of whole wheat, flax seeds, oats, and good fruit. Less drowning in maple syrup and butter. And smaller portions!

Mouse over any image to read its description. Click on a thumbnail to view its larger version:

A pile of bite-sized MINI pancakes made with a special cast iron griddle that makes seven 2.5" pancakes at a time. Fluffy light pancakes, maple syrup, scrambled eggs and hot coffee:

Fluffy creamy scrambled eggs topped with grated old cheddar cheese and spicy chunky tomato salsa. Did you ever notice that the FIRST pancake (or first batch) ALWAYS turns out BAD? Over-greasing the pan will fry the pancakes and leads to uneven browning. The proof:

So, the first pancake usually turns out the worst. But after a few tries, the pancakes improve.

Improvement. The same cannot be said for any Lana Del Rey song released after "Video Games" - the intriguing song that made her an internet meme in 2011. Her imperfect voice ranges from maple syrupy sweet to sultry haunting and evokes a David Lynch film, glamour bad girl, Nancy Sinatra, Chris Isaak, and narcotic-induced or heartbroken numbness. ODD.

Then "Blue Jeans" came out after, followed by "Born to Die" (there's an official music video, but I prefer the video below). Cookie cutter songs. From the SAME template - Video Games! Yet... not amazing like Video Games. Huh. The inevitable LAW OF DIMINISHING RETURNS.

I don't know what disturbs me more - that I actually LIKE burnt pancakes or that I've been looping a song I dislike. Aaaack, it's growing on me. Like a fungus. Gah. Pass me the syrup.

Oh, you're STILL here? Or maybe you skipped, skipper. Lana Del Rey's debut album drops in stores on January 31 in U.S.A. - THE DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY. Wish me a... something. I also celebrate a birthday in September, but I much prefer my birthday in January. LOL WUT?

Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity spamcakes"

Le Petit Déjeuner, Blueberry Oat Pancakes, Eggs, La Petite Mort fruityÖaty - Food. Monsters. Higgledy-piggledy.

Breakfast, served. French toast or in French, "pain perdu" which literally means "lost bread" since it's better made with day-old stale bread than fresh. And a side of... unrelenting farce.

Apparently, a dear reader (possibly an imaginary person - one can never really be certain in the virtual world of blarghing and aliases) has grown weary of my "fruity oaty" references. He commented, "FRUIT-OAT-GAH, unrelenting farce?" AWESOME. My day isn't complete until I've irked someone to the point of exhaustion. (Hmm... I miss smilies in my blargh.) Anyhoo, I woke up super early today and felt like making a proper brekky which then led to blarghing. (OK, so I was tired of Manny Pacquiao's face at the top of my blog's home page.)

So. You can kiss my farce or you can kiss my April in Paris. Meh. In any case, I'm still going to enjoy my breakfast. And what a fine breakfast it is. A thick slice of my sister's homemade bread soaked in an egg batter (with milk or heavy cream, French vanilla, sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg). Fried in butter. Topped with berries (blackberries, raspberries), a drizzle of maple syrup or Manuka honey, and a dusting of powdered icing sugar. OK, it's an occasional treat.

... which then led to streaming Comme si de rien n'était (in English, "As If Nothing Had Happened"), the 3rd album of Italian-French ex-supermodel, singer and France's First Lady Carla Bruni. Because I ALWAYS listen to music while I blargh. Sometimes, the music affects what I'm writing about... Oh hey, like right... now. Favourite track: Le temps perdu (Time Lost). While I was studying French, I used to immerse myself by listening to a lot of French music.

... which then led to an urge to greet all my "English-speaking only" Asian friends a Happy Lunatic Lunar New Year. In French. Bonne année du Dragon à tous mes amis asiatiques! Because while it's enjoyable to confuse random strangers, it's better to mess with friends. ;)

... which then led to the realisation that I should stop writing "which then led to". So retarded.

"Faites-vous des amis prompts à vous censurer." - Boileu. Maybe I agree. Maybe I don't. :P

Massa P aka "fruity fruité"

P.S. ... which then led to hours of exercise so that my French toast won't stay on my derrière.

Kiss My Farce: French Toast - Pain Perdu - Temps Perdu - Time Lost fruityÖaty - Food. Monsters. Higgledy-piggledy.

Bee-eye-ell-ell-eye-ee-aitch-oh-ell-eye-dee-ay-why. Billie Holiday. Breakfast. So, what's this twisty post really about? I'm not sure... Stick around and maybe you'll figure it out before I do.

To ponder, to weigh. Excess. Moderation. Or excess in moderation. You know when they say too much of anything (bad or good) is bad? Brought on by looping this song too many times:

The FIRST MINUTE consists of spelling out B.I.L.L.I.E.H.O.L.I.D.A.Y. over and over. SRSLY. The song? "Billie Holiday" (no duh?) by American experimental rock all-girl band "Warpaint". A gauzy, moody quasi-cover lullaby of "My Guy" (a #1 hit single written by Smokey Robinson and sung by Mary Wells in 1964), stripped of the original's upbeat giddiness. An apathetic haze induced by anti-anxiety drugs or eating turkey (if you believe that turkey meat is high in tryptophan - an amino acid, resulting in drowsiness if you eat too much turkey). LOL WUT?

And the LAST MINUTE consists of "we're like birds of a feather" over and over. Ummm. o_O

An open-faced "Omelette with Roast Turkey, Bacon, Cheddar Cheese and Scallions (green onions)". Pan-fried "Baked Pineapple Brown Sugar Honey Mustard Glazed Holiday Ham". And warm, crusty Italian bread (a Cibatta bun). Yay... today's breakfast packs on the calories.

It's like slowly getting rid of leftover Halloween boo candy by mixing it in your everyday meals. Okay, so maybe putting those Smarties into my bowl of Cheerios wasn't such a smart idea...

I'll end this post with how I began it... Bee-eye-ell-ell-eye-ee-aitch-oh-ell-eye-dee-ay-whyyyy. B.I.L.L.I.E.H.O.L.I.D.A.Y. (Ad infinitum...) I need a holiday. OK, so another holiday. Preferably one that doesn't involve eating last year's leftovers. (Aah! Can't get the song out of my head.)

Oh. Em. Gee. I know how to spell! Yay. Bee-eye-ell-ell-eye-ee-aitch-oh-ell-eye-dee-ay-whyyy.

Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity Pineapple Ham"

P.S. Why are you storing depressing songs in my Dropbox? SRSLY. You-know-who-you-are. Not all birds of a feather flock together. Misery doesn't necessarily love company. LOL WUT?

Taking a Billie Holiday from Holiday Ham and Turkey Leftovers fruityÖaty - Food. Monsters. Higgledy-piggledy.

It's been two months since I had a breakfast of cut up ripe papaya. Drizzled with a bit of honey and lemon juice. Simple, tasty, healthy fruity goodness. Easy to serve and easy to eat!

I dillied and dallied with burning this blog and jumping over to Tumblr, a free microblogging platform and social networking haven for attention-seeking, bored young folks engaging in copyright infringement and the contextualisation of snippets of random lameness. Kidding?

But then I realised I can post the same lame stuff here that I can do at Tumblr. See, case in point, a 34-second snippet of copyright-protected material right here, in my own laboratory! From FOX's Fringe TV series, Season 1 Ep. 6, Walter Bishop's papaya goo-ification demo:

"To understand what happened at the diner, we'll use Mister Papaya. Clear! This is upsetting because he is the friendliest of fruits... Wait. The show's not over yet." Mooooo!

Hover your mouse cursor over any image to read its description. Click on a thumbnail to view a larger image (Mister Papaya... umm... in two states, prior to becoming my breakfast):

OK, so I have until the end of April to decide whether to renew my web hosting account. I dunno... I rather like having my own domain, my own slice of the internet. Hard to give up...

What's not so palatable... spammers and hackers. Gah. Still... I'll CUT... YOU... UP. Be afraid.

Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity-fication"

In Memory of Mr. Papaya the Friendliest of Fruits fruityÖaty - Food. Monsters. Higgledy-piggledy.

This past Tuesday was Shrove Tuesday - also known as Pancake Day, Pancake Tuesday, Paczki Day, Fasnacht Day, Fauschnaut Day, Mardis Gras and Fat Tuesday. Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. So, why a photo of waffles, you ask? Because my sister made her super-crisp yet moist and scrumptious Classic Buttermilk Waffles (recipe from "The Breakfast Book" by Marion Cunningham). Throw out those frozen cardboards from the grocery store that you pop into the toaster. Make your own! Best. Waffles. Ever.

Pancake batter is similar to waffle batter, but whereas a pancake is flat, soft and fluffy, the wonderful waffle is crispy, light and requires a waffle iron. I like how the waffle iron creates those patterned crevices... perfect for catching syrup, jam, melted butter, whatever. My sister always makes a huge batch as Cunningham's waffles freeze quite well, but they never last for long in Casa da fruity, hehe. Just pop 'em in the toaster. Classic.

Pictured above is my breakfast on Tuesday: 2 yummy waffles drizzled with chocolate syrup and lightly dusted with icing sugar. The one below is my dinner dessert last night: 2 waffles doused with boozy bananas in caramel sauce. Like I said before, these waffles don't last very long. I quickly made a caramel sauce with store-bought pancake syrup, butter, brown sugar, evaporated milk, Appleton Estate V/X Jamaica Rum, Frangelico hazelnut liqueur, and then folded in some sliced bananas into the warm sauce. Oh relax, "boozy" is a misnomer because the alcohol evaporates during the cooking process - only the mellow flavour remains. DAMN, IT WAS FINE! I should have had these on FAT Tuesday... with whipped cream. Kidding!

Well, on a different note (or is it?), I was thinking about what to give up for Lent earlier, however, I always fail at sticking to my Lent promises. I'd be lying to myself if I said that I'm a good, devout, practicing Catholic. Nevertheless, I've decided to give up APATHY, but I feel too apathetic to start. (Now, there's a conundrum for ya.) Also, I've been in a rut for what seems like an eternity. I need A change. I need TO change. Now. Fast.

I can recall an old e-mail from a friend who wrote that attitude, not circumstance is often the best predictor for happiness. Today, I had a brief MSN chat with a friend who just celebrated her birthday yesterday. When I asked her if she felt any different about being 1 year older, she replied, "I prepare for the aging think in advance... I start thinking about being a year older like 6 months in advance." Attitude and preparation... simple truths, yes... but I've forgotten to apply them to myself, lately. For example, one could wake up in the morning and say, "I'm going to prepare some waffles today and they're going to be super-fine!" Uh-huh.

Anyway, who knew that there were so many definitions for waffling? (Actually, I did know...) Well, here are 4 definitions, in particular:

• The act of making a scrumptious waffle. (Oh, you know you want it.)
• Talking around the point, blathering, filling in time, or boring talk ;-)
• The inability to decide on something. Breakfast waffles have grooves that go up and down, like some people's opinions.
• A back-and-forth wing motion made by water birds such as ducks right before landing in order to lose air from under their wings. (I do this all the time! :-D I just gotta stop with the funky chicken ducky dance.)

So many raisins, so many waffles, so many chocolates, so very little time.

Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity bananas"

The Breakfast Club: Waffling Through Life fruityÖaty - Food. Monsters. Higgledy-piggledy.

Have you ever seen a thicker slice of raisin bread toast loaded with that many raisins? It's as if a truck carrying a cargo of Hershey's Chipits spilled gobs of chocolate chips on my breakfast plate. (Yes, this entry should put to rest doubts as to whether I can rise to new levels of cryptic absurdity. It's always good to have a goal, hmm?) First off, I want to say thanks for all the comments on this previous whiny speech. I thought I'd write a new entry before that one racked up more kisses which would force me to split up comments into pages to prevent long ass scrolling and carpal tunnel syndrome amongst you lovelies. More truthfully, it'd mean unnecessary effort by yours truly, Slacker Spice Girl. Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want (sing with me) - a vacation from fixing all the bugs in my blog. Updating to WordPress 2.1 has landed me with some unwanted presents. A pain in my proverbial ass. Ouch. :-(

So, right about now, you might be thinking, "Raisins? Eh, random, much?" Well, not really. If you knew me, then you'd know that I simply do not do random. I am quite precise in my strange musings. ;-) Anyway, I have this theory that when a person of the blogger species has zero inspiration to write, he/she will fall back on these 5 tried and true stinkers, umm... gems:

1. His/her pet or someone's pet. If the blogger has trained the pet to write the blog, so much the better! I've lumped talking about your family, friends, friends with benefits, significant other, STD partners, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife and illicit lovers in this category. The only difference with the latter (humans) is that you're less likely to turn into a senile, old lonely lady with only 20+ smelly cats to keep you company while you "rage, rage against the dying light".
2. Feelings, whether emotional and/or physical in unholy, excruciating detail. If you're a blogger, you've probably committed this offense at least once. Please, if you're going to lifelog your feelings, do it with style! "I feel sad" or "I feel sick" just doesn't cut it! "I took a razor and cut out my eyes", now that's an eye-opener! Unfortunately, all eyes will be open including yours. Incidentally, that's exactly how it is, each time I am forced to see any flick starring Jessica Alba.
3. Moan about how you have no time to blog or got nada interesting to say... throughout the entire post! Pssst, if you really have no time or no blog ideas, then do not write anything at all. See, simple?! Or you could eat a Krispy Kreme. Or stop breathing, but scarfing up KK's would be more enjoyable. And do not cut out your eyes, EMO boy.
4. List all the dull things you will do or have done lately, in grocery list fashion. I call this type, The Itinerary Blogger where said blogger writes about his/her mundane daily activities: I ate ____, I had sex (hopefully, with someone other than yourself), I saw this movie, I listened to this horrid song, I watched this TV show, I killed Jimmy Bob, I bought this ____, I wore white after Labour Day, blah, blah. Often, these bloggers will mention other people's names... as if they expect the poor, unsuspecting reader to know who Jimmy Bob is. In itself, there's really nothing wrong about blogging about that stuff, if the writing was remotely well done and compelling. For example, DO explain why you killed Jimmy Bob. What did poor JB ever do to you?!
5. Write about the weather. For example, "Damn, it was cold today. It was so cold, Jimmy Bob froze his nuts off. Yes, it was so cold this morning and wow, it was even more colder tonight. It snowed a lot... and then it snowed some more! So, did I mention how cold it was?" Basically, that weather babble is equivalent to when people having nothing to talk about in the elevator or at the office water cooler, etc. and rather than being silent, Jimmy Bob and Mary Sue lightly chat about the weather. If your readers wanted to know about the weather, they'd watch The Weather Channel. (Kidding!)

HONOURABLE MENTIONS: internet memes, ranting about your workplace and co-workers (resist.resist.resist.the.job.rant)

I'll be honest and confess: so far, I am guilty of #1, #4 and definitely #2, but while I have written about my feelings, I always aim to gloss over the boring real details. I CARE A LOT about my readers. :-D And since I have vowed never to write about the weather... you, dear reader, get to read about... the much maligned, glorious sweet raisin in the sun. Uh-huh.

TRUE RAISIN TIDBIT: Did you know that in ancient Roman times, you could trade two (2) jars of raisins for one SLAVE BOY? Google it, if you do not believe me. Now, 2 jars of prunes would get you... very regular. :-D

So, if I've got 20 jars of raisins, that would buy me 10 slave boys (preferably the sort who looks hot), n'est-ce pas? (Yes, my Grade 1 math teacher, Miss Fernandes wouldn't tweak my ears.) We here at fruityoaty do shallow well. Actually, I am not all that fond of raisins (except in some desserts and waxy, chocolate-covered Glossette bits), so I'd probably give them away.

Join me another time on my new "The Breakfast Club" series, as I wax poetic about... breakfast... which technically sort of falls into #4 in the list, but it could be the new, fresh fruity #6. Yeah, whatever to you too.

Say Anything? Yes. No.

Au revoir,
Massa P aka "dry purple fruity"

P.S. Fess up now, but even if you are a repeat offender LIKE ME, remember... The Almighty Powerful Raisin loves y'all... well, most of y'all. Except YOU. BTW, if you didn't get the drift that I am making fun of myself here (not other people), I am telling y'all now. Hey, if you want to use your PERSONAL blog to vent and ramble, go ahead. Just remember, you're leaving a digital trail (search engines have a big cache of drivel)... and years from now, when your future employer Googles you and reads about your 18-year old self doing and saying God knows what, your future self will be singing a different tune. My point is, do not ever write anything you'll regret later on. Peace. LMAO.

The Breakfast Club: Colour Me Raisin fruityÖaty - Food. Monsters. Higgledy-piggledy.

Now, I'm not a big consumer of chocolate which I briefly mentioned first here and next here, but even I can't deny the simple sensual pleasure of eating it now and then. Today was a Chocolate Sunday of sorts. My Mom made my childhood favourite for breakfast - creamy, comforting, sweet chocolate rice pudding. At night, my sister brought home some leftovers of her super fudgy, chocolate espresso coffee brownies that she baked the night before to share with her co-workers today. (Nice of her, eh?)

Certain foods conjure up warm childhood memories. Creamy rice pudding is a perfect example of comfort food. But many people hate the look, smell and taste of rice pudding. Maybe you're one of those poor souls who grew up to hate bland canned rice pudding forced upon you by your grandmother? Maybe you have a childhood trauma of hearing the "plop, plop, plop" sound of pudding coming out of a can? :-D However, I firmly believe that you would quickly change your mind with just one spoonful of homemade Filipino chocolate rice pudding. Hello... 'cause it's chocolate?!

Recipes for Tsamporado or Champorado (Filipino chocolate rice pudding) vary, however, the basic recipe always contains sweet glutinous rice, sugar, cocoa, water and "milk" (i.e. evaporated milk, condensed milk, cream, whole milk, etc.). You may add vanilla for flavour, egg yolks for both a richer taste and custardy texture and dust with cinnamon. It can be served cold or warm, but I think it's best eaten warm with cold thick cream or evaporated milk swirled on top. Although it's usually served for breakfast, a bowl of Champorado makes a satisfying snack any time.

Albeit unproven, legend has it that José Rizal, Philippines' national hero, invented Champorado. Being an adventurous boy, even in food, Peping (Rizal's childhood moniker) mixed bahaw (leftover rice) with hot chocolate. And voilà , yummy Champorado!

The photo down below is a big pan of my sister's fudgy chocolate espresso coffee brownies. {{{{{ Oh, you know you want one. }}}}}

Lovers of brownies fall into 4 preferences: fudgy, chewy, cakey... or it doesn't matter, we like 'em all! A fudgy brownie is dense, with a moist, intensely chocolaty interior. A chewy brownie is moist, but not quite as gooey as a fudgy one. Lastly, a cakey brownie has a moist crumb and a slightly fluffy interior. I prefer the cakey type.

The opiate effect of chocolate? Old news, yes. Chocolate intake has been linked with release of serotonin in the brain, which is thought to produce feelings of pleasure. Although not 100% proven, there's a theory that chocolate may also act as an antidepressant, however, there are also recent scientific studies claiming that eating chocolate may actually deepen depression in those who are very stressed or clinically depressed.

Well, yeah, that's a no-brainer. You'd be depressed too as soon as you saw your ballooning fat ass from eating all those chocolate brownies. Try booze - light beer, less filling, fewer calories! Yes, I am kidding. Never, ever self-medicate your problems away with food, alcohol, whatever. Anyway, those brownie-deprived Buddhists would say, "That's just temporary (chemical) happiness, not real happiness." Here, have a brownie, Buddy.

Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity cake"

Opiate Effect: Chocolate Coffee Brownies & Chocolate Rice Pudding fruityÖaty - Food. Monsters. Higgledy-piggledy.