OLDER POSTS
"Come out, the streets are breathing
Heaving green to red to green
Come with your nicotine and wine
Tambourine keeping time
Come and find me in the evening"
Maybe I'd like that song, "Your Fonder Heart" by Anaïs Mitchell a bit more if the lyrics weren't so... cheddar cheesy and her voice wasn't so pixie-ish. I am having a visual of a 13-year old elf singing... at a Lilith Fair concert. I imagine I'd be looping that on my iPod after a round of... absinthe abuse (aka The Green Fairy) followed by bungee jumping. But no, Mitchell probably didn't intend to evoke thoughts of absinthe. My brain just got wired... oddly.
FAIR WARNING: A long post to clarify stuff I said in this previous post.
Anyway, when I briefly mentioned that I refuse to engage in "blogger for hire" schemes, it wasn't coming from a... righteous principle. I've long ago accepted that everyone blogs for different reasons. Harshly judging others is not my style. I am iffy with "show me the money" because... I am a Slacker Blogger. Some Pee-Pee-Pee ad networks require the blogger to maintain a ratio of 2:1 (normal entries vs. $$$ posts). That goes against my goal of owning a piece of the blogosphere by doing as little as possible. :-P See, I managed to bump up feed circulation by another 116 subscribers in the last 2 weeks without actually publishing anything. Slacker Method works!
Just to prove to y'all that the Slacker Method works, I've outsourced my first (potentially, maybe) "dinero for post" to my friend (the guy who has left comments on my blog under at least 18 different aliases). I have lost track of all his names, so I am just going to refer to my pal as Anonymity (derived from the Greek word for "without a name"), "Pedro" or "Paidro". Outsourcing my "blogger for hire" writing to my pals means I can put my finger in the pie hole and keep my righteous hypocrisy intact, bwahahaha!
FYI, I won't plug a product (especially if goes against my ethics) that I can't turn into a personal story. After all, this is a personal blog. Ink toner, rhinoplasty... no thanks!
Just be thankful my friend didn't make his jokes that reference either G.I. Joe, biochemistry or French literature. Mr. Anonymity e-mailed me this:
Hey Massa P,
I had 20 minutes to kill during network connectivity problems. Here is the draft of a potential article. Let me know if it shmecks or not. If it is usable, I'll finish it, but if not... then send it to the merciful limbo of deleted items.
[Editor's note: The following is supposed to seem like I, fruity wrote this. I tweaked the original here and there to fit the fruity vibe of my blog. Mr. Pedro, it needs more narcissism, but clever jibes @ me and sly truths. ;-) I have a feeling the article will be rejected. It is just far too... irreverent.]
We interrupt the scheduled fruityoaty blogcast to bring a message from our friendly corporate daddy, "Primatech Paper Company". Señor Bueno Yum-Yum Frosted Tobacco Infused Breakfast Cupcakes now come in two new exciting flavours: Kosher Bacon and Winterfresh Cialis with 100% of the daily recommended allowance of MSG and nicotine... Primatech Paper Company is the global leader in mechanically rendered meat products and industrial grade paper pastries. Now back to our irregularly scheduled blog!
A time comes when every blogger must decide whether the temptation of $$$, ahem... I mean... value-added blogging >:) should be inflicted upon a blog's audience. Can blogs still be meaningful and insightful... when nestled below the HTML floorboards... is the tell-tale heart of marketing? Will my 69 loyal subscribers be peeved? Will they even notice? I pondered the idea of getting compensated to plug something, over a delightful glass of smooth as silk absinthe. Looking to buy absinthe? Visit our absinthe blog. Absinthe, the much maligned and romanticised beverage of madmen and Bohemian artist types is now available for commercial sale online. Buy Absinthe. ;-)
I barely recall my first taste of absinthe abuse. The bottle had a painting of Vincent Van Gogh. A fitting choice, Van Gogh was a depressive, suicidal self-mutilator who was said to be quite fond of absinthe. But... does that work as a marketing message? Or maybe it was some form of government mandated warning label, like pictures of damaged black lungs on cigarette packs? A Surgeon General's Warning: Drinking Absinthe during pregnancy will lead to birth defects and/or pointillism technique.
Gah... $$$ rambling be damned, I shouldn't be drinking this. After all, I've kind of grown attached to my brain. I had drunk this stuff many years ago and the result was an urge to bungee jump. Oh my, the dilemma... how to review this and not risk injury? After much thought and soul-searching... I did what any socially responsible adult would do: outsourcing. All I needed to do was get somebody else to drink it and write the review. Enter my pal, Anonymity aka "Pedro" or "Paidro". This is how it all went down:
fruity: Hey, Happy Birthday Mr. T!
Anonymity: Huh? It is not my birthday.
fruity: I mean, Merry Christmas. Boy, do I have a surprise for you.
Anonymity: What?
fruity: Oh nothing... just thought you'd like some absinthe. If you aren't too troubled by it... some waivers for you to sign. You know, the usual.
Anonymity: You are strange. [Editor's note: Pot calling the kettle black?]
fruity: You wouldn't happen to be pregnant, would you? No? That's great. A bottle will arrive in 2 days. Have a drink and let me know what you think.
Anonymity: I am not going to go blind from this, will I?
fruity: Pshaw, it is not like this stuff is dangerous... It is like drinking Fresca and getting money for it. [Inside joke: Swiss Chalet Chicken + Fresca?]
Au revoir,
Massa P aka "fruity" and Pedro dela Borracho (name changed to protect the ignorant)
I still don't get what this is. O_O Not even after the third read.
That was a great video. I kinda like the song haha. It's great. Really.
Anyway, mind some link exchange?
Hey hey hey! How's your 500 links post going? =P Anyway, I hope you won't hate me for commenting with my different blogs coz I wanna extract some of your link juice on them. I am such a leech! =P
@Alternati, { K }, Arlo, Charles Ravndal, Evilgenius, Goe D, Gyk, Fatima, Kianah, Kaitlin, Kendra, Leah, Pusa, Sara, Zerovoltage, and Nix:
I posted my response titled "Later Than Late... Merry Christmas" specifically for YOU GUYS who wished me a Merry Christmas, Season's Greetings, Happy Holidays, etc. :-)
Also, Happy New Year in advance!
Hi fruityoaty! First time here. This is a nice post you have shared. Thanks!
Happy Holidays!!! ;-)
I'm not really into PPP, but I guess that if you make things personal and don't annoy your readers with "OMG, do you need an abortion? There's a new clinic etc." posts... then it's okay. :-)
Merry Christmas. ^^
Hey! I'm back! I missed blogging. Anyway, I don't prefer blogging for money. I just wanna blog anytime I want. I don't want to post something because I have to.
I hope you had a wonderful Xmas!
Merry Christmas! :-D Just in case I got your e-mail addy wrong. :-P
I know I've already commented on this post, but I hope you're having a wonderful Christmas!
You're right about not wanting to do something that you don't feel you can keep up with or agree with. People do blog for different reasons. I don't know about the Slacker Method. Since I've started blogging more regularly, I've started getting more visitors. But different people do operate differently.
Hello fruity and Merry Christmas to you and your family!
I've been meaning to add your link but I kept forgetting and then I remembered you when I was making Christmas e-cards. So I thought... might as well add you up while it was still in my head. Merry Christmas!
Haha, she does sound like a 13-year old elf! The song doesn't make me think of absinthe, but you writing about it made me!
Personally I hate PPP. I understand that it's a nice way to earn some extra cash but I think that few people, including me bother to read posts like that.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and all the best for the New Year.
Merry Christmas, fruity!
So you tell me if you've got plans for visiting the islands... Why not have some sorta fruityoaty fans' day? Hehehe. :-)
Hi fruity,
Very nice blog. Really recommended. I found this blog via a blog awards website. The reason I am commenting is just to let you know about a social networking site (video, news, blog, etc.) called eBenTa.Com. If you can share some posts on there under Blog > PinoyBlog or Blogosphere, etc., that would be great. You can share some of your posts and directly link to your website. OK, hope to see you in the community.
Merry Christmas!
{ The reason for the season is JESUS }
-GD
"A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together."
- Garrison Keillor
Happy Holidays to You and Your Family! :-)
P.S. Love the title! I was actually thinking of using the title for a future entry! Hehehehe... I saw it as an episode title of "Californication".
I just wanted to greet you Merry Christmas!!! ^_^ I hope you have a wonderful day! :-D
Wishing you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of meow heart. Mwahhhh.
I got curious about that Absinthe drink since Kevin talked about it on one of his past entries. He was like crazy over it. I'm a bit of a straightedge guy [drinks on rare occasions...], so I'm not planning on drinking it. If I will, not a lot of it.
I'm not planning on having paid posts on my blog since metaphoric posts don't seem to fit on such. Haha. Never will apply on those. Never!
Um. I have no problem with PPPers at all, but sponsored blogs are just not for me. I guess I have a problem with having other people laying out a variety of topics for me to blog about, and choosing among those said topics. I tried B2P and hated it. Regardless of preference, I wouldn't be able to blog for money anyway. My PageRank isn't worth crap. :-D
I've always wanted to try Absinthe. It's just that I don't know if a bar sells them here in this region. I wanna know how the Green Fairies look like. :-D
I didn't completely get this post, but since it's about paid blogging and such... I don't think anything is wrong with it if the blog owner posts plenty of other interesting entries.
I watched the video. Beautiful song. She does sound like some sort of young girl or faerie.
The slacker thing doesn't work for me. I haven't taken a look at my subscribers but I doubt that it's risen.
I often think about using my blog for marketing. Pee-Pee-Pee isn't that great anymore because your PageRank will go down to zero, but PageRank doesn't really matter anymore.
Her voice reminds me awfully of Annie the Musical! Grr... her voice annoys me!
A night out once in a while is good. :-)
I'd reckon you'd make a great sales blogger - you'd do it with the same sort of dignity that escorts do. You can be both empowering and a ho. :-P
Absinthe is a wonderful drink, tastes just like licorice. Due to alcohol level regulations in the UK, it can only be sold at a certain percentage. When I went to Amsterdam I found absinthe with an alcohol level of around 80-90% which would cause blindness, hallucinations and temporary moments of madness where you'd very likely cut off your own ear.
Now where's my Frosted Tobacco Infused Breakfast Cupcake?
Absinthe? Pee-Pee-Pee? I'm waiting for your food pics on Flickr... Where are they? ;-) And when will all this snow on the ground melt?
Next time, please take a pic of Lucky begging for food in the snow. And... and... um... *lost my train of thought*
Hmmm... "slack" blogging, not working for me, but ei you got some magic, charisma! ;-) They love you out there, so might want to increase that "at most" post two per month to, say, at least three??? :-) But wherever you're happy, I will continue to visit. :-)
I tried Blog2Profit before, only because I wanted to buy a domain name and just let someone host it for me. That's why I got yummeh.net! Hahaha :-P after that, it didn't really appeal to me anymore, so I guess when my domain name expires it's back to blogging for money again.
Hahaha, I like your principles towards this whole thing though, totally makes sense!
Mwoah I tried the pay per post thing and earned almost my airplane ticket to Madrid. *hehehe* But mmowah, now I leave my blog without ads or anything. I just like it more that way. :-P Too much pressure - writing those ads. *gahhhh*
Hah, random, but I love the title of your post!
Hahaha, absinthe. So deadly, haha.
Confused though I am, I got the part about absinthe. I don't put adds on my site, but it's not like I have a choice anyway, since I only have a subdomain.
I guess it's all a matter of balancing the posts or something. Hehe.
I've heard about absinthe...
The Slacker Method does seem to work. LOL, I know my book blog doesn't get updated nearly as frequently, but oh boy are the feed subscribers active!
I still do some sponsored posts on my blog, but the reason I started my blog was to have means to run my mouth as much as I want and I could update it more often than a personal site. :-) So when I feel like my blog is a chore, I know it's time to pull back and remember why I started blogging to begin with.
BTW: I'm meme tagging ya!
Yeah, I recently put ads on my site. I put them in a non-obtrusive place. I need the money, hopefully the visitors will understand...
Her voice is actually annoying and the lyrics are cheddar cheesy haha, but some lines are actually good.
Anaïs Mitchell's voice does sound pixie-ish. Actually it's close to sounding like the lady from Poltergeist, who also does the scariest places on earth bit. :-P
I've tried Absinthe only twice in my life... :-D
Blogs turning pro make the readers go away... that's my observation.
I thought about doing the paying blog, but it just did not fit into my photoblog and I just didn't like it. I hope it works out better for you!
It is nice to separate a personal blog and a blog meant for earning some dough. And I tried doing a pay per post thingy on my personal blog, but I disguised it as sort of a real post from me so no one knew the difference that it was really a paid post. But I usually think that my readers do deserve something much better!
It seems the level of output and employment in a blog was determined by aggregate/effective demand... It is thereby tacitly understood that periodic monetary injections will result in improved blog productivity induced by planned macrosomething-or-other.
It seems like you are making fun of problogging and profiting off of it at the same time. Hmmm... having your Pi and eating it too, I suppose.
Signed,
Dranyam
You are so deliciously wicked. Have your Pi(e) and eat it, too.
Drunken bungee jumping, indeed. ;-)
How do you manage to make everything... sexual? :-P
I KNOW YOU better, so I know you're poking a bit of fun @ PROBLOGGERS! >:) Brilliant.
And I suspect this is also a Christmas Cash Drive, hmm?
Count me in - your "OUTSOURCING SCHEME"! Maybe I can write that "300 Movie, Part 4" story you promised me. Liar. :-P
I'm not even going to pretend that I got this post. But since it involves Absinthe... it actually makes sense, LOL.
I honestly don't like paid posts and I'm willing to endure it only for people I like. Few people can pull it off without seeming like sellouts. But that's just how I see it. And I probably dislike paid posts because every time I find myself reading one... my brain shuts down and gets too lazy to separate the paid posts from the normal ones. ( Extra brain work = baaad XD )
Ooooooo... Absinthe. Haven't tried it before. It's kinda unavailable around my social circles, but I have seen how it is made and drank, which looks cool by the way.
The Slacker Method. A tried and tested way of being profitable. Hehe!