fruityÖaty

Hello. It's been 8 months since I last blogged. I recently had a moment of clarity when I forced myself to sort out why I have this blog when I don't blog here. I'm writing today because to vote for a Bloggers' Choice Award (National) nominee in the 2009 Philippine Blog Awards, you have to submit a post.

My fruity oaty vote for the 2009 Bloggers' Choice Special Award (National) goes to... Billycoy's Blasted Brain Blogs, a blog written in Filipino (how well, I'm not entirely sure 'cause I'm not fluent in Filipino). He's quite a character, entertaining... and very Pinoy. OK, his blog sucks ass and reading it gives me an unholy nose bleed, but the narcissistic bloke deserves a few votes, eh? I hope you win, muddafucka bastard.

Maybe if Billycoy wins, I'll pay someone to pull a Kanye West. Bwahaha, lame joke.

I divulge that my blog is also nominated in the same category. Truthfully, I've grown weary of Pinoy blog popularity contests and all the "I'll scratch your ass if you scratch mine" games. But I do appreciate the social networking and community building aspects of these contests. Yes, I know who nominated me and yes, your joke got my attention. Tickles my funny bone. Thank you. (Is it just me who IMHO... thinks that the list of Bloggers' Choice Award nominees this year includes a lot of crappy blogs created mostly for Google AdSense? Please don't flame me... Yes, I did actually check out each blog.)

Anyway, a few days ago, I saw bits of the movie Girl, Interrupted (starring Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, Whoopi Goldberg) on TV. I've seen the movie before, but not a bleep censored version. All that bleeping of verbal profanity was jarring and muddled the context of some of the scenes. Do you remember that scene where Jolie's character "Lisa" asks Ryder's character "Susanna" if she can bum a cigarette? Susanna gives her one of her French cancer sticks. Lisa takes a smoke and exhales it towards an older catatonic woman sitting next to Susanna. The old patient doesn’t react at all. After Lisa leaves, Susanna pulls the same stunt and blows smoke at the old woman's face. The woman slowly turns around, faces her and yells, "Asshole!" That old woman actually had one line (well, one word) in the entire movie, but the censored movie version bleeped out her one line. This got me thinking about self-censorship...

I have always tried to refrain from becoming one of those bloggers who share the blow-by-blow details of their lives and let their personal messes spill over to their blogs. You know the type - uses a blog as an outlet... a form of therapy for depression? Well, that's just not me because for me... trying to blog about depression when I'm depressed is, well, downright depressing. To quote Mark Twain, "The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all." It's not healthy to live inside one's head, know what I mean? But I'm not implying that I've stayed away from this blog because of 8 months of depression. LOL. It's... complicated.

Sorry for not replying to your comments and e-mails. It was a hard decision to disengage (both from online and offline pals). I know I've lost a lot of readers. For the few who decide to stick around... thank you, twice. I will now try to reply and blog hop.

Wow, this post wasn't short at all. But it was a focused effort, albeit... muddled result.

OK, I'll be back soon with a full serving of fruity and a side dish of oaty. Literally.

Asshole.

Adieu,
Massa P aka "fruity"

P.S. Wince or mince words, but please don't throw flaming pumpkins at me. I prefer flaming marshmallows sans the burnt wooden stick. Mmm, oooey gooey goodness.