fruityoaty.com

I’d started to write a fantastically nonsensical food porn-metaphor story, but it made about as much sense as the adults in Peanuts when they talk, “Wawa-wa wawa wa, wa wa-wa”. Good grief, Charlie Brown. Speak plainly. In an effort to retain first-time visitors, I’ll try to write more transparent, frequent and shorter posts without losing my current stalkers. (Maybe I’m fibbing because I write to please myself and my stalkers.) I have a blog with 90 posts, 1,989 comments… and little traffic. I started to care about that trickle when I realized that Google AdSense clicks could probably pay for Hi-Speed Internet service. Still, I’m iffy about doing “paid to post”.

Strangely, my blog’s readership has actually increased as I write less… an average of two dumb silly entries per month. Probloggers will tell you that good content and frequent updates are important to keeping your readers warm and fuzzy, none of which I apply. Then, how to explain the anomaly? I like to think of my blog as a black hole. Maybe it’s so dense, it defies the laws of physics and light refraction. (Déjà vu. From where did that come?)

In a bizarre turn of events, my Ratified.org rank recently rose from #79 to #19 as of writing! Ratified.org is a directory that measures the Top 100 Filipino blogs based on Technorati rank, Google PageRank, and number of FeedBurner subscribers. Ratified.org was developed by Andrew dela Serna who maintains a blog over here. My theory is that my rank rose because of an increase in FeedBurner subscribers which is probably because of exposure from participating in the 10th Philippine Web Awards. (Huh, all that for $5.)

Once the suckers realize how dense silly my blog is, they’ll unsubscribe. I would like to thank all my 300+ subscribers, but I don’t know your names.

To sum up, if I learned anything from years of writing business documents, it’s this: customers are not your fuzzy friends. Unlike your pals, they won’t tolerate rambling on and on and on… In a cool statistic that I just totally faked, you lose 69% of readers for every 6.9 seconds they spend weeding through your crap. OK, so if you see shorter entries, now you know why.

Oh, the photo? Record for Longest Pizza in North America on 7.7.07. 165 feet! CDN $1 per slice. Pizza store near the childhood house of my cousin.

Adieu,

I’m Not Dead

P.S. In a cool statistic I just made up, 69% of y’all want to say, “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Lies, damned lies, and statistics. (Size does matter?)