fruityoaty.com

Dead. My blog unofficially died on March 31, 2007. Everything I’ve written after that has been a wan attempt to revive it at infrequent intervals. A tired layout paralyzed in time. Hundreds of photos that should have been dropped into my Flickr album ages ago. Uncategorized and untagged posts — all of them. Categorizing would mean I’d have to finally decide what it is I’ve been streaming all this time. Maybe my mind doesn’t like to be divided into neat little boxes. Maybe I’m lazy. Sorry, I’ve fallen behind on returning comments. And I also chose to vanish *poof* when the Philippine blogging community was abuzz over a kid, misrepresentation, and Malu Fernandez.

By the way, today is my 1-year blog anniversary! Only 84 entries. Wish me a happy ______. I owe much of my blog’s so-called popularity to my fellow Pinoys. Thank you for tolerating the long drivel and sticking around. I dedicate this update to my big sis, Evilgenius, Jigs, Slim whale, Fendi, and Mari… who left comments such as: “… frustrating it is to keep seeing the same post over…”, “… loves to torture everyone!”, “You’re keeping all of us in suspense!” and lastly, “… post something!” Presto, wish granted!

I’ve never blogged about news and current events, but several of my fave bloggers plus approx. 35% of my visitors are from the Philippines (and I am Pinoy), so I do try to take an interest in the pulse of that country even if I don’t live there. As I steamrolled through the big pile of unread items in my Google Reader, it was one brouhaha after another. So, here’s my 2 cents…

So… oh, who am I kidding? I’ve never written about news, current events, politics, religion or anything that smelled mildly “serious” or “controversial”, intentionally by design. Heck, I won’t even do a proper movie review! No, I won’t break my streak today. I’ve often wondered, is choosing to keep my blog light, ha-ha, and cryptic somewhat of a misrepresentation of my true self? Oh, believe me, I’m neither shallow nor completely barren of wit, intelligence and insight. Also, I have a backbone and I’ll bite, if necessary.

Hypocrites may disagree, but I do believe there’s a bit of Malu Fernandez in each one of us. Be honest. We all have our little prejudices. Some of us just have more tact and refrain from parading our monumental stupidities in public. Yeah, I censor myself sometimes, but that doesn’t make my blog any less… “real”. I decided a long time ago to stay away from topics that are “too personal” and stuff that would create online drama. Simply put, I don’t want the unsavoury aspects of my online activities to bleed into my offline life. I’m not so keen on sound and fury. I choose my battles wisely.

By now, you’re thinking, “Dude, wassup with the scary cat-human hybrid wrapped in toilet paper?” Yes, folks… I am confirming your suspicions — this blog’s ghostwriter is really a 13-year old fat cat named Max! Mon Dieu, the controversy! Tongues and tails-a-wagging! What, you doubt the authenticity of my blog? Carl Ocab, who? Uh people, if you doubt a blog’s integrity… it’s simple, don’t visit it. (BTW, the Fat Cat celebrated his b-day in August.)

Side story: My sister, my Mom and I went to a bridal shower where the bride made the guests play the usual silly bridal shower games. I swear, if and when I ever get married, I’m going to inflict the same torture on my guests. Payback, damnit. So, we were split into 5 groups. Either my sister (lead designer) was holding a big grudge against me that day, the ladies were drunk, or I’m an inadequate model–muse because look at the horror:

(Hey Alternati, was that story Pulp Fiction-esque enough for ya?)

A comparison, shall we? So environmentally unfriendly, all that paper.

• FruityOaty = HOBO-CHIC. A hobo is a wandering homeless smelly person in search of a job and is too poor to buy Jo Malone perfume.
• Winner = BOHO-CHIC. A style of female fashion drawing on various bohemian and hippie influences. Compare her head piece to mine.

Now, let’s backtrack to the first photo above — the one with all the fugly Toilet Paper Queens. The winner has an assistant! Darlings, Divas like me and Malu Fernandez have hundreds of slaves waiting at our beck and call. But I always command my slaves to bathe so that they don’t drown out my Jo Malone perfume. And see the crying tiny baby in his mother’s arms? Unlike Carl Ocab (give the kid a break)… that baby boy knows real shame. Dudes, his mother put him in a toilet paper wedding dress. Baby boy, I forsee years of psychiatric counselling in your future! Sheesh, parents.

OK… McLink Lovin’ It Time! Unlike last time, I’ll restrain myself to 13, OK? Jigs was right — too many Links, not enough Love. BTW Jigs, I revised this entry to be less… spammy and a little bit more McLovin’. In Year 2 of blogging, I’m feeling the lure of selling my blog’s soul for a free plate of Mrs. Field’s cookies and Google AdSense clicks. Make Money Online with a 13-year Old Fat Cat. Eh, on second thought, maybe not. Anyway, if you’re bored like I am right now… why not make something? Yeah, you could:

• Make a lovely drawing for me (thanks Jasmin Toral aka “Archeia”!)
• Make a glass of Juice
• Make her return to blogging, ASAP (Ann)
• Make your taste buds cheer (Chase)
• Make truth or fiction (Kevin)
• Make a date with Ria Jose. Applications ongoing.
• Make cheese to go with your whine* (Lei)
• Make great stories (Kubi)
• Make a belated Happy Birthday greeting (Lil)
• Make a blog entry for the Wika2007 Blog Writing Contest
• Make a blog entry for the Filipina Writing Project to help reshape the Filipina image online
• Make a new online Pinoy friend from Canada (Kiro)

Well, you and I both know I could keep going, but that’d just be spammy.

Make love, not war.

Adieu for now,

Massa P aka “fruity”