Dead. My blog unofficially died on March 31, 2007. Everything I've written after that has been a wan attempt to revive it at infrequent intervals. 
A tired layout paralyzed in time. Hundreds of photos that should have been dropped into my Flickr album ages ago. Uncategorized and untagged posts - all of them. Categorizing would mean I'd have to finally decide what it is I've been streaming all this time. Maybe my mind doesn't like to be divided into neat little boxes. Maybe I'm lazy. Sorry, I've fallen behind on returning comments. And I also chose to vanish *poof* when the Philippine blogging community was abuzz over a kid, misrepresentation, and Malu Fernandez.
By the way, today is my 1-year blog anniversary! Only 84 entries. Wish me a happy ______. I owe much of my blog's so-called 
popularity to my fellow Pinoys. Thank you for tolerating the long drivel and sticking around. I dedicate this update to my big sis, Evilgenius, Jigs, Slim whale, Fendi, and Mari... who left comments such as: "... frustrating it is to keep seeing the same post over...", "... loves to torture everyone!", "You're keeping all of us in suspense!" and lastly, "... post something!" Presto, your wish is granted!
I've never blogged about news and current events, but several of my fave bloggers plus approx. 15% of my visitors are from the Philippines (and I am Pinoy), so I do try to take an interest in the pulse of that country even if I don't live there. As I steamrolled through the big pile of unread items in my Google Reader, it was one brouhaha after another. So, here's my 2 cents...
So... oh, who am I kidding? I've never written about news, current events, politics, religion or anything that smelled mildly "serious" or "controversial", intentionally by design. Heck, I won't even do a proper movie review! No, I won't break my streak today. 
I've often wondered, is choosing to keep my blog light, ha-ha, and cryptic somewhat of a misrepresentation of my true self? Oh, believe me, I'm neither shallow nor completely barren of wit, intelligence and insight. Also, I have a backbone and I'll bite, if necessary.
Hypocrites may disagree, but I do believe there's a bit of Malu Fernandez in each one of us. Be honest. We all have our little prejudices. Some of us just have more tact and refrain from parading our monumental stupidities in public. Yeah, I censor myself sometimes, but that doesn't make my blog any less... "real". I decided a long time ago to stay away from topics that are "too personal" and stuff that would create online drama. Simply put, I don't want the unsavoury aspects of my online activities to bleed into my offline life. I'm not so keen on sound and fury. I choose my battles wisely.
By now, you're thinking, "Dude, wassup with the scary cat-human hybrid wrapped in toilet paper?" Yes, folks... I am confirming your suspicions - this blog's ghostwriter is really a 13-year old fat cat named Max! 
Mon Dieu, the controversy! Tongues and tails-a-wagging! What, you doubt the authenticity of my blog? Carl Ocab, who? Uh people, if you doubt a blog's integrity... it's simple, don't visit it. (BTW, the Fat Cat celebrated his b-day in August.)
Side story: My sister, my Mom and I went to a bridal shower where the bride made the guests play the usual silly bridal shower games. I swear, if and when I ever get married, I'm going to inflict the same torture on my guests. Payback, dammit. So, we were split into 5 groups. Either my sister (lead designer) was holding a big grudge against me that day, the ladies were drunk, or I'm an inadequate model/muse because look at the horror:
A comparison, shall we? So environmentally unfriendly, all that paper.
- fruityoaty = HOBO-CHIC. A hobo is a wandering homeless smelly person in search of a job and is too poor to buy Jo Malone perfume.
- Winner = BOHO-CHIC. A style of female fashion drawing on various bohemian and hippie influences. Compare her head piece to mine.
Now, let's backtrack to the first photo above - the one with all the fugly Toilet Paper Queens. The winner has an assistant! Darlings, Divas like me and Malu Fernandez have hundreds of slaves waiting at our beck and call. But I always command my slaves to bathe so that they don't drown out my Jo Malone perfume. And see the crying tiny baby in his mother's arms? Unlike Carl Ocab (give the kid a break)... that baby boy knows real shame. Dudes, his mother put him in a toilet paper wedding dress. Baby boy, I predict years of psychiatric counselling in your future! Sheesh, parents. 
OK... McLink Lovin' It Time! Unlike last time, I'll restrain myself to 13, OK? Jigs was right - too many Links, not enough Love. BTW Jigs, I revised this entry to be less... spammy and a little bit more McLovin'. In Year 2 of blogging, I'm feeling the lure of selling my blog's soul for a free plate of Mrs. Field's cookies and Google AdSense clicks. Like Make Money Online with a 13-year Old Fat Cat. Eh, on second thought, maybe not. Anyway, if you're bored like I am right now... why not make something? Yeah, you could:
- Make a lovely drawing for me (thanks Jasmin Toral aka "Archeia"!)
- Make her return to blogging, ASAP (Ann)
- Make your taste buds cheer (Charles)
- Make a date with Ria Jose. Applications ongoing.
Well, you and I both know I could keep going, but that would just be spammy.
Make love, not war.
Adieu for now,
Massa P aka "fruity"
want some fruity karma? please bookmark this, 
about this, and subscribe to the full RSS feed OR e-mail feed.
Cherry Cherry Boom Boom Pow, 3rd Blogiversary, Vote for Ria
Girl, Interrupted: My Vote for PBA Bloggers' Choice Award
Smashing Pumpkins Today: Cookies, Cheesecake Pie, Donut, Ice Cream, Muffin,
Reindeer Games with Christmas LOLcat
LOL… Like Tina said, they have games like that at bridal showers… but, I have actually seen this one played, lol. Pretty funny!
What a zany post… sad to see the first word of this post.
Late na nga ako sa balita, hehe.
Why didn't you win, why? Hahaha. That was a nice toilet paper lingerie there, LOL.
Fruity happy happy birthday to your blog! I wish more humor and sweet sweet food-doo-dles on your blog.
P.S. Thanks for the very kind words you left on my blog. Event hough I have tons of testosterone, I must admit that I was touched, hehe. God bless and more power to fruityoaty!
Lol, TOILET PAPER roll head pieces. Hahahaha… even have bras, LOL.
I know it's hard to categorize stuff, but if it helps, in my feed I have you labeled "food".
Firstly, I would like to wish you a fruity first-year anniversary. About this content, I like the winner's paper dress! (I'm not follow the majority votes ya!) I think the winner needs to keep maintaining the paper dress extra carefully, right?
Congratulations, 1st anniversary blog!! Nice wedding paper clothes you have!
It's totally tough to blog regularly. When you have friends who are always looking forward to updates, it feels like you have an obligation to write, yet you do not have the drive to do so. Taking a break sometimes is good, but hey, don't stop here, keep us posted.
Hey fruity, congratulations on being mentioned in WikiPilipinas.
I've just come out of hiatus to find out that you've gone into one. Hmmpffh.
Come back. Come back. Come back.
Hey, don't you stop blogging!
Nobody can stop blogging. Haven't you become a blog addict in your active time? I can't imagine stopping it. Keep on blogging. Bye.
Hello EmmP.
It's been far too long. I blog — you blog — we don't blog. I've been bad. Of course, you don't fail me when I check you out after my own hiatus. I just LOVE the shameless post title — love it. You are… well you know what you are. I can only imagine the creeps that find your blog. It's brill, however. Going to the Film Festival this year? Drop me a line — we catch up. I'm not online publicly much due to new job and MSN sillyness.
Later, "poof".
Blogging is a new thing so there is no right or wrong way to do it. If you wanna be weird, be weird. If you wanna leave posts uncategorized, leave them uncategorized.
I like this site and even if you do only update it twice a month I prefer quality over quantity.
I like the dress of the winner, but "A" would've made an interesting real wedding dress. I like weddings because of the food. Thanks for linking me. I'll link you too.
Oh yeah… why do showers/wedding receptions have to have those silly games? I dread that part and usually have to make a French leave when they call for the bachelors in the party. It's embarrassing, but I don't want to be branded KJ.
I don't know much about the Philippine blogosphere, but it seems to be pretty rich and diverse from what I've seen. I thought I'd mention how much I enjoy your pictures. They're always unique and interesting, and I thank you for that.
My fiancée calls me a Hobo when I forget to shave… Does that make me Hobo-chic?
Oh, fruityoaty. The link's much appreciated!
Thanks!
And, happy 1st BLOG ANNIVERSARY — fruity! I wish you more POSTS to come! Double your posts from the past year, okay? :->
Haha! Gimme more Nutella recipes!!!
I love the photo.
My brother just got married and I thought the wedding games were torture, but clearly I've had no idea. 
The next most precious thing in my website are the comments I have received. Sigh! When I updated to iWeb'08, I lost them all.
It's time to move on.
I'm still researching the word for "fear of long blog entries", as I have mentioned the word for "fear of long words".
I couldn't agree more. We write lengthy and infrequent entries. Nyehehe. No wonder in my case, for example, visits are like the sine wave. Up and down. And up again. And down again. 
Congratulations on your first blogging year. Keep it up!
Yeah, there's a bit of "Malu Fernandez" in all of us. How we take things are pretty relative. In the end, we just have to know the difference between criticism and insult.
Uh, nice suit out there. Like to try it out myself.
Nyehehe.
LMAO, that photo is hilarious.
Don't ask me how I got to your site coz I wouldn't remember myself now. It's nice of you to let everyone know that you'll be blogging less often. That's my great worry before, as I can't guarantee I'll be blogging quite regularly and may lose my readers. However, my plan to start to officially blog on a separate website is coming soon. What I've learned is, as long as you give them the impression on how frequent you'll be blogging right from the start, then your readers wouldn't expect that you have neglected your site. Whether that means three times a week or whatever.
First, I would like to wish you a Happy 1st Blog Anniversary!!
I like the winner's paper dress.
That paper fashion really looks good! Can that wedding dress really last long for the whole day?
Onga! Astig, I didn't get lost in the myriad of issues tackled, here, hehe!
Hi fruity, congrats your blog is in the elimination round for the 10th Philippine Web Awards.
And Happy Birthday to Max!
Oh! I looked at again your photo, fruity. I wanted to ask, who did that tissue paper fashion on you? You should have called me!
Then what happened to your lost files? Didn't you recover some of your photos?
I WANT some answers!
@Fendi: LOL, my sister was mostly responsible for the fun–horror, along with my Mom, cousin, etc. Yes, I'm sure you would've done a better job. Oh, I have "some" backup files.
"We all have our little prejudices." It's just up to us how to handle it.
Happy birthday, fruity.
Wow. Happy 1st Blog Anniversary, fruity!
And welcome back to the blogosphere, of course.
My plan of spreading love is finally working! Mwahahaha!
Although admittedly, the plan was more dastardly in my head…
I laughed so hard when I saw the poor baby dragged into the mayhem by his own mother! As for your design, I am now a fan of Hobo-Chic!
Happy Blogversary! I can't believe you dedicated it to little (not physically, hahaha!) people like me. Hehe!
BTW, thank you Massa P for the very nice message and the wonderful comments! You're spoiling me! Really, stop! Hehe!
Jigs devoured this post like a crazy deprived Cookie Monster who saw Mrs. Fields passing by with a fresh batch of chocolate chips. Jigs saved the cookies for fruityoaty! As for Mrs. Fields… that's another story…
You call those wedding dresses? Hahaha!
I'm sure if there was a SEXY category, Max would definitely be the winner!
Honey, you're stepping on your dress (Pic #1).
LOL! So you're a fat cat, so what? We love you for whatever or whoever you are! LOL! I'm just amazed on how well you can type, I mean… with your fat paws and all. Hehe.
[Sorry if I'm not making any sense at all. Like what I always say, I'm a senseless guy!]
Happy birthday! Woohoo!
And I don't even mind if you're really a 13-year old fat cat 'cause now I'm convinced that cats are really smarter than humans. 
I'm not much into drama either, both online and off. I'm one of those kinds who just love to chill, maybe too much. I can be the perfect beach bum.
But much as I avoid drama, surprisingly enough, I edit drama series.
And hobos are more interesting than bohos!
Happy anniversary!!! Sorry, been lazy these past few days. Sorry about your thrashed files. I hope you could still retrieve them somehow.
I agree that there are Malu Fernandez among us. The bad thing about Malu is she hit the spot and she's still a bragging "socialite". Oh well, I don't want to add another charcoal to the flame (if there's such an expression). Hopefully, people could still be positive about things. (Why can't they???) Oh well, frustrations, frustrations…
Congrats again! Cheers!
I KNEW IT!!!
I think your toilet paper dress was the best one! Why are you pretending there is anything more important than bringing us updates? There isn't.
I always wondered about your avatar — this weekend I watched Pan's Labyrinth… Wholy.
Happy 1st blog anniversary!!! Keep it up!! You are very creative… grabe.
So, bridal showers have games like that. Been to a few, but we never had that game. Hehe.
Me was thinking… was I the one who said "post something?" Anyway, happy 1st blog birthday. It's amazing how you could cover all the topics and controversies so fluidly… indeed, kickass!
Finally, the missing is over now! Here we go. I need to read it as many times as possible coz I don't know when the next entry will be posted.
Happy 1st blogversary!!! Holler with lotsa kisses for fruity for dedicating your post to FENDI! *wagging tail, singing la la la la la la la…*
Kiss
Fendi
Thanx for commenting on my LiveJournal.
I also replied on your question about TFC there, so check it out. Hehehe, I enjoyed looking at those pictures! That was one bridal shower you guys got there. 
Hahaha, sooo creative!
And about the whole Malu Fernandez issue, serves her right! Hahaha. But yea, there is a bit of Malu Fernandez in all of us, I agree. But she can't just go and criticize Filipinos just like that. She doesn't know what OFWs have to go through just to give their families support.
Happy 1st blog anniversary!
I already had my 3rd blog anniversary this April. May you have more blog posts, and blog readers as well, this year. 
Why'd you cover your face?!
What an unusual… blog! I don't think I have ever come across something quite so… well… I'm not sure. Oaty? Hmm, oats.
Teehee, toilet paper dressed people. Amazing! And there I was thinking cats shredded up toilet paper rather than wear it! Deary me.
*laughs* 'Putty tat'.
That was a looong come-back entry. Still a good read though.
No more hiatus, hey?
Malu F. may have been trying to be witty, but her writing came off a bit insensitive. She should learn a lesson or two from you.
Happy 1st year!!!
More good fortune will come in your way.
Happy bloggabirthday!!
I agree, there's definitely a Malu Fernandez in all of us. That's probably why I didn't address anything in those controversies, or any controversies for that matter ever since the Top Ten debacle. I try to stay away from it. I'm here to blog about my life and stuff, not about other people, I just can't do it. I don't know why. -.0 It's amazing people have that power. I guess I'm just chicken, haha.
Nice try for a toilet clad supposed to be wedding dress. LOL!!
Happy 1st blogging anniversary to you fruity!!!
Nice pretty post, but covers all the brouhahas the past weeks. Happy anniversary, dear.
Thank you for the lovely birthday wish (and plugging).
Very much appreciated. I'm honoured to be in a blog entry with Max.
Speaking of which, I think we'll have to call you Maxsa. ( You see that? That's a clever fusion of Massa and Max
) My creativity astounds me.
And happy blogging anniversary! I don't even know how long I've been blogging. Too long, maybe? In any case, I look forward to seeing more food / Max / anti-MSG posts. However infrequent they may be.
I think you might be starting a fashion trend there with that hobo-chic outfit. Boho-chic is so passe!
And hey, there is nothing wrong with self-loving. Or spamming. Especially when you're a 13-year old cat. I do it all the time so I have no excuse… Maybe I should throw my readers off and reveal myself to be Billy (my fat, grumpy, black cat)? Seems to have worked for you!
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday happy birthday
Happy birthday to you
Yay!
So Max, your ghostwriter, is already 68 years old in human age. Cool. That ain't young.
I agree that we are a bit Malu Fernandez inside, that's why our inner Carl Ocab is misrepresenting sometimes.
Happy 1st year anniversary fruityoaty!
Thanks for the mention!
CONGRATULATIONS!
LOLZ!!! At the hobo cat-chick!!! Or whatever.
Happy 1st birthday to your blog!
A little boy in a tissue dress!? Psychiatric counseling indeed!
Weirdly, I imagine your outfit with the tissue dress and cat head to be missing a samurai sword… I don't know why.
HAPPY 1-YEAR BLOGVERSARY! Congratulations! Wow, Max the Fat Cat has accomplished so much with just 84 posts in 1 year!
Impressive! A toast to Year 2, 3, 4, etc.! No more hiatuses!
Lmao, Hobo-Chic will so be next year's fashion trend. That and everyone will start wearing masks with pictures of their cats. Mari loves the head wrapped in toilet paper look. XDDDDD
Bridal showers and baby showers are two things Mari can't stand.
Fruity, your link-loving techniques are nothing short of spamlicious. They're spammy, but we love them anyway. Like McDonald's hamburgers. At least, Mari HOPES it's spam. And not kangaroo. *shifty eyes*
Hey hey hey, new winding cryptic elephantine post as usual! Great! Welcome back, fruity. Love reading you as always.
LOL. Max is back! Whoohoo!
Massa P, that was bloody brilliant! Overly long, though. You gotta stop with the hiatuses! The comeback entry is always enormous!
Love how you wove those Philippine blogosphere stories into an entry that was really JUST ABOUT YOU. Self-love again, LOL.
So, were you saying you don't win in EVERY CONTEST?