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No doubt, if you’re living in the Philippines or you surf a lot of Pinoy blogs or YouTube, you’ve come across that TV commercial, “Makulay ang Buhay sa Sinabawang Gulay” featuring child actors (Sharleen, Aaron and Nash, eh who?) getting jiggy with the tasty and healthy virtues of Knorr seasoning in vegetable soup. And maybe you’re thinking, “Gah, another lame me-too bandwagon post. Been there, done that! Wait… I don’t recall two fat cats and a red bowl in the ad. What is this tomfoolery?” Sure, the ad has a catchy yet annoying tune… brainwashing kids into eating more vegetables. Good, right? No, I say! Knorr is bent on getting li’l Sharleen, Aaron & Nash addicted to a white powdery substance… MSG! Take a stand! Just say no!

Makulay ang Buhay sa Sinabawang Gulay = M S G! Evil subliminal message?

First, they get ‘em hooked on MSG and before you know it, Sharleen’s doing booze, crack, tricks and hardcore porn. At the end of the day, don’t we all believe the children are our future? Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Because the greatest love of all is teaching kids this: Whitney Houston = your brain on drugs!

You just know this post is off to a bad start… when I’m recycling my jokes.

First, I apologize for not replying to the comments with questions for this previous entry. I’ve been on a weeklong semi-hiatus. I am back and I will sift through the interesting ones with questions I have chosen to answer. I’ve had… a weeklong headache… not caused by MSG. Oxygen deprivation. Events in my life are sucking all the air out of me, hence lack of food porn.

Now, I don’t know the Knorr bouillon cube flavour promoted in the ad, but if it’s anything like most Knorr seasonings (yes, even Vegetarian Vegetable Bouillon), it’s got the Holy Trinity of Knorr ingredients: Salt, Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) and Disodium Inosinate. Mmmm, umami salty goodness. But is MSG, also known as Ajinomoto (a Japanese company trafficking 33% of the world’s MSG crack), Vetsin, Betsin, or Accent, bad for us? Well, let’s quote a Pinoy doctor’s opinion, hmm? Philip S. Chua, M.D. wrote that MSG:

“… could cause a condition known as “Chinese Food Syndrome”, which could sometimes mimic a heart attack. It causes chest pains, facial pressure, and burning sensations throughout the body, sometimes with dizziness or fainting, which are mostly temporary. This phenomenon is a pharmacologic reaction to [ MSG ], a popular white powder food seasoning used in cooking. The symptoms are not really due to an allergic reaction and is dose-related. Most people are not bothered by MSG, but some react to it more severely. Although death is very rare with this syndrome, a surgeon classmate of mine, who was attending a meeting in Nice, France, a few years ago, had so violent a reaction after ingesting food with [ MSG ] that he expired within an hour…”

Note, considerable scientific research has failed to prove any syndrome or any negative health effects related to MSG. But myth or not, for the love of humanity… why would you want to hurt li’l innocent Sharleen, huh?!

Down below, the original Knorr TV commercial featuring chubby, cherubic faced Campbell Soup Kids tripping in a multi-coloured Teletubby-like haze:

In my lame video, “Max the Fat Lazy Cat” (who is on a NEW DIET, BTW) and “Lucky the Beggar Cat” are tripping on vittles served in a “NO MSG NOODLE TiME ramen bowl”, which I’m sure will once again draw the ire of Humane Society / SPCA / PETA types, cat haters, vegetarians, everyone.

Because who doesn’t enjoy getting YouTube comments like, “Choke and die you motherf**ker!” FYI, I rarely feed Max. My parents dish it out. Blame them, not me.

For the benefit of my non-Filipino speaking readers, I’ve (mis) translated the lyrics to English. I apologize for screwing it up as Filipino is barely my 2nd language. My Filipino reading skills are almost non-existent (I studied it in Grade 1). I had to phonetically sound out every word. Painful. According to Alternati, the song title translates to, “Life is colorful… with vegetable broth.” My Mom argues that “broth” should be soup. And Marhgil sez it’s “Life is colorful on the swimming vegetable.” Swimming… uh-huh, OK. And I’m Canadian so I say “colorful” is spelled with a u as in: colourful.

Personally, I suspect Knorr might have an evolutionist-vegetarian in their marketing division. 1st draft: “Life swam out of colourful primordial soup.”

Life Is Colourful with Vegetable Broth (English translation)
Before, I never tried to taste vegetables
I always avoided it
But I found that vegetables are delicious
If you put them in soup

*Chorus:
Colourful (colourful)
Life is (life is)
Life is colourful
With vegetable broth

Vegetable broth, so delicious
Every slurp is full of joy
Vegetable broth, good to savour
I got stronger, I can do anything

*Chorus

Broth is just so healthy
Add Knorr with vegetables, we’re so very happy
We’re getting so better at school and play
So let’s all slurp some now

*Chorus (repeat twice)

LINK LOVE TIME (say that twice like the Teletubbies):

• Many thanks to Muhammad who nominated fruityoaty as one of the The Top 10 Emerging Influential Blogs in 2007! If you have a blog and you want to say, “I heart you fruityoaty”, you have 2 weeks left to join Janette Toral’s contest! I’m currently tied for 6th place after 9 weeks. Your blog entry could win 1 of 10 US $$$100 prizes!
• Paolo Mendoza @ KHOOPS.com who named dropped me as one of the “so cool” blogs he stalks. I dig his inclusion of these lovely folks on his list: Zerovoltage, Kubi, Lei, Joyfulchicken, Gibbs Cadiz, REX, Queer Chef, and especially Jigs who is currently my #1 Commenter in the Last 30 Days. Check my sidebar for my Top 10 hollerers.
• Congrats (haha) to Slim whale for submitting the 1,500th comment on my blog! He wrote, “Reading your blog felt like talking to you at Starbucks. Quite an engaging style.” ( I feel rather sheepish… Lovely words from someone who is truly a terrific writer… And I do mean a blogger who can really string words beautifully. Me… I just stream the cacophony of strange voices in my head — no structure. )

Wow… 1,511 comments (39 are mine). Thank you, everyone!

Adieu,

fruity cube