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Who knew that the film 300 could temporarily snap me out of my blogging funk and inspire a series of at least 4 entries thinly related to 300? Entries whose topics can somehow be linked to Kevin Bacon through a game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? Now, if you thought you’d be reading another film review and discussions on homophobia, racism, women empowerment, sex, violence and war mongering (Bush and Iraq), do think again. Oh puh-lease! Snooze. If you’re a regular visitor, you should know me better by now.

By “know me”, I mean the shallow part of me that steadfastly refrains from writing anything that smacks of “articulate, deep or compelling”. While I can’t claim that my schtuff has always been original, I do feel confident in stating that when it comes to jumping on “me too, copycat!” bandwagon topics, my treatment of those topics… has always been true to my blog’s motto: fruity and oh so oaty! Yeah, whatever to you too. Sometimes I get moments of clarity (i.e. when I’m cleaning out my cat’s nasty litter box)… and this is one of those occasions. Those moments are usually short-lived.

Unlike Ann who felt uninspired when she wrote about 300, but had actually wanted to write about Wicked by Gregory McGuire (read it, so shiny), I am completely in my lame element here. In truth, I was inspired to create my latest Sparta-ghetti with Hearty Tomato Sauce (photo above, harhar) initially because of the following animated GIF I came across on this entry by Jun and most recently because I had a lot of leftover extra ingredients from making my super tasty Easter lasagna. The scene in the GIF is where King Leonidas kicks Xerxes’ Persian messenger down the well as an answer to Xerxes’ ultimatum for Sparta’s submission to his will. To read the spoiler scene script, scroll down below to the postscript. Gerard Butler (as King Leonidas) growled, “Madness? This is SPARTA!!” , but he could have yelled:

RED SAUCE ON PASTA!

The pasta dish… Spaghettini (thinner spaghetti) topped with rustic chunky tomato sauce containing a lot of veggies and some meat. Of course, you can omit the browned lean ground beef and bacon altogether or substitute with soy-based veggie products, for example, Yves Veggie Ground Round or Luxmi Natural Soya Chunks or minced Indonesian tempeh for protein and texture. And yes Valerie, my veggie friend… it would taste really good too, but bloodthirsty Spartan men probably didn’t dine on veggie quiche. After all, King Leonidas instructed: “Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty, for tonight we dine in Hell!” Blood… red, red, red everywhere.

Sautée in virgin olive oil, green peppers, garlic, chopped onions & celery & carrots, cubed eggplant (sprinkling pieces of eggplant with salt draws any bitter juices to the surface in beads of moisture and can be blotted away with paper towel)… in separate stages so as not to overcook the veggies. I used a bottle of Classico Four Cheese pasta sauce (not so bad if you’re feeling lazy) and freshened up the taste with chopped fresh tomatoes. I threw all that good schtuff with browned ground beef and bacon (drained of fat) into a pot with a liberal amount of red wine. And do not forget to deglaze the pan with water or red wine after you’ve sautéed and browned the ingredients to get the flavour of the juices that have caramelized on the pan. Simmer all the ingredients with some water, oregano and basil on low for about 15 minutes in a pot… throw in some chopped fresh Italian parsley in the last 5 minutes… and voilà , rustic, hearty, yummy… so good!

(Don’t bother mentioning that scene where King Leonidas was chomping on an apple… or Queen Gorgo — Gorgonzola cheese. Been there. Snooze.)

OK, we’re coming to the end… How does any of this babble connect to Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon? (Nooo, it’s NOT the bacon in the pasta sauce… smartypants.) You’ll just have to come back for Part 2 of this 300 series.

Hint: I saw King Leonidas… live! But how, you ask? It’s in Part Deux, baby.

Oh yeah, see those 3 new voting buttons on the right? Click on ALL 3, including “Worst Blog of All Time”, YES PLEASE. My sister has a really strange sense of humour. She gets 3 fruity-points for nominating me.

Adieu,

Queen fruity
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P.S. Optional read. Full spoiler scene script [ source ]:

Persian messenger: All the God-King Xerxes requires is this: a simple offering of earth and water. A token of Sparta’s submission to the will of Xerxes.

Leonidas: Submission… Well that’s a bit of a problem. See rumor has it that the ATHENIANS have already turned you down. And if those philosophers and boy-lovers have that kind of nerve…

Theron: We must be diplomatic.

Leonidas: And of course Spartans… have their reputation to consider.

Persian messenger: Choose your next words carefully, Leonidas. They may be your last as king.
[ Leonidas draws his sword and points it towards the Persian messenger, whose back is to a large, deep well ]

Persian messenger: Madman! You’re a madman!

Leonidas: Earth and water… you’ll find plenty of both down there.

Persian messenger: No man — Persian or Greek — no man threatens a messenger!

Leonidas: You bring the crowns and heads of conquered kings to my city’s steps. You insult my queen. You threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh, I’ve chosen my words carefully, Persian. Perhaps you should have done the same!

Persian messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!

Leonidas: [ He looks at Gorgo, who nods to him ] Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!! [ kicks the messenger down the well ]