Today, my TIFF pal Jude teased, “Dude, wassup with your blog? I’ve been sucked into a voting whore portal! Look, I will even create a fake blog to make myself eligible to vote fruityoaty for Bloggers’ Choice Award… if you seek help for your attention-seeking personality disorder. And update your blog more often!” Then he explained that he had recently read 2 lines in a magazine perfectly describing my blog. A description that he would steal and put in his fake links section of his fake blog. This post is… my reply.
The stolen paraphrased lines? “A strangely arm’s length way of describing life. Everything is like something else, somehow never quite itself.” Dear Jude, I really have no idea what you’re talkin’ about. And if you’re going to go through the trouble of faking a description, you might as well make it as pretentious as possible, n’est-ce pas? My fruity manifold soul prefers the matryoshka or onion layer metaphor. A matryoshka or Russian nested doll is a set of dolls of decreasing sizes placed inside one another. Got it, oui?
After my chat with Jude and The Others, a few thoughts crossed my mind:
- I acquaint myself with quirky, wily folks. I also see dead people.
- I have loyal readers who will resort to elaborate means to support my continued blogging. Truthfully, my interest in blogging has been waning for over a month now… and I’ve been told it shows. Sorry?
- More specifically, a few of those loyal readers will resort to helpin’ me win somethin’ and anythin’ in hopes that Massa P will cease the vote whorin’ lame entries and move on to somethin’ fruitier. Sorry?
- A few of those quirky, wily loyal readers need to get a life… as do I. Actually, a short arm’s length way of experiencing life. (Kidding!)
- In all my link plugging (no Jude, NOT link whoring… I’ve never once asked anyone to do a link exchange), I’ve never properly thanked my readers who are blogless by design or circumstance. In actuality, all these readers comprise the majority of my daily e-mails, blog traffic and/or comments: Brad Pitt, Dead Person, Dessert Queen, Em, Evil Twin, God, Hodges, It’s Me Margaret, Jude, Pedro (and his manifold soul), Paulie, Sash aka “Farm Boy”, Yer Pal, and a low metabolism fat cat named Max. Oh yeah, although Evilgenius has a blog based on her very own coded CMS (showoff, WordPress ain’t good enough for ya?), Evilgenius and the referral hits from her blog comprise 6% of my total blog traffic. If she got hit by a bus, well… damn, there goes my 6%! Don’t die! Of course, a whopping 30% comes from me.
- I like to link plug simply because seeing these kinky words onscreen, “I’m plugging these people” is like vicarious sex through words. Sad.
Oh, where did I get the photos of the matryoshka? Last night, my big sis was doing a thorough, physical Spring Cleaning of her bedroom and stuff, which she likened to a good psychological and spiritual Spring Cleaning. Big sis (and only sibling) aka “Dessert Queen” (provider and supporter of most things good and fruity in my life) said that “holding on to so much junk” is like not being able to let go of the past, grasping on to old glory days and not making room for new memories, new stuff and a new chapter in her life. No, I won’t explain the details of what she really meant as it is very personal. The event consisted of her muttering over and over, “Do I really need this?” I’d reply, “Is it a sentimental keeper or just semicrazymental?” Semicrazymental = Garbage Bin or Garage Sale. Naturally, another person’s garbage is another person’s treasure. Massa P scored two shiny, almost new handbags and some other stuff. 
Thank you. And yes, we can all use a good, thorough Spring Cleaning in our lives. Don’t procastinate.
In crafting my reply to Jude, I spied with my 100 evil eyes… that colourful matryoshka. My sister then explained that it is not a Russian nested doll, but a Polish one she received from her friend who visited Poland. And yes, the 3-inch wooden matryoshka… went into the sentimental bin. Well, Jude, I didn’t have a Pandora’s Box conveniently lying around, hmm? Muahaha!
Oh yeah… if you have a blog, feel free to click on the button below to vote fruityoaty to win the Bloggers’ Choice Award for 2007! It will do wonders for my megalomaniacal fruity quotient. A little hubris is good. 
You may vote only once and you must be a blogger to vote. The winner will be announced on March 31, 2007 (Manila time).
Adieu,
fruityoshka
P.S. Yeah, whatever. I couldn’t find a photo of a 2-inch puddle of shallow water. Kisses. Still reading? Why? Didn’t I tell ya to go vote now?
Oh yeah, I’m also going to take a train ride to the “Land of Returning Comments” right now. Sorry… I’ve fallen behind. Busy.
“True glory consists in doing what deserves to be written; in writing what deserves to be read.”
- Pliny the Elder
An entry for me? Cool. But, I’ve been misquoted. I think I actually said, “Frakk, I’ve been sucked into a voting whore vortex, but I like it! It tingles!”
Oh, I KNOW YOU AGREE 100% with my lifted description. You’re just doing your typical “evil opposite argumentative stance”. But, where is the line between the REAL YOU and the Wile E. Coyote annoying software tester?
Funny… nested dolls, haha! Yeah, GOT IT. So you’re saying: “Everything is like itself, somehow always quite itself.” Oh brother!
Nice, graphic retort. Your evil eyes spy a lot of things, don’t they?
Alright, so my fake blog… I added a nice dancing Cylon monkey as your REAL avatar.
Off to vote!
RE: TIFF. Wifey’s giving birth mid-September. Everything is going well! Sorry, we definitely can’t go to TIFF this year.
Love the Russian dolls!
Keep on writing and we will keep on reading.
Haha, I had one of those babushka things. I love ‘em!!!
BAH! I refuse to take part in link exchanges!! But usually, the sites I link to usually end up linking back anyway, haha.
Uh Oh - I have two blogs I would love to vote for - yours and Shari’s… What it ended up with hopefully no one will ever know but me. But no matter what, you equally deserve all kinds of thumbs up and such!
I love the babushkas! Especially the nested ones!
Is it not a perfect description of your blog? Don’t you refer to the situations and people as something else — using indecipherable fruity metaphors, perhaps? :p
Yay! I see dead people too! Although I have to admit that I’m not exactly quirky and wily. More like totally crazy and bipolar-y. :p And oh! I say people do crazy things when they’re in love! And because I’m in love with you[rblog], I can do the most extreme things just to make you win bwahahaha!
Well, Evilgenius is an Evilgenius, so I guess she reserves the right to use her own hand-coded CMS just so she can prove that she is evil and genius! Did I just say evil and genius more than twice in just one sentence?
Oh, oh! How true! Another person’s garbage is another person’s treasure. Oops! I’m beginning to smell like a garbage can. And hey, I’ve always wanted a matryoshka doll! Doesn’t matter if it’s Polish or Russian. *hint, hint*
The following is fruityoaty’s EDIT: Shari sent the the same comment again… and then immediately posted a 3rd comment: “Oh noes! Sorry for double sending! Internet connection acted up and went all crazy and evil genius-y on me!”
To all my lovely, fruity readers: Shari is thinking of monetizing her blog one day. Seriously, please click on ALL her ads like crazy and wave your arms like you do care (as much as I care)… so that she will be able to afford a decent internet connection. Stop her from double sending comments on your blog!
Shari doesn’t need that, she’s filthy rich I tell you! Lol!
See dead people? How about talking to them? Ding! I do!
Oh wow, your entry was really long for me to get through, but I enjoyed it! I think it’s really true for the phrase “Another Man’s Garbage is Another Man’s Treasure” because what may not be important to someone could mean the world to someone else. Like food! Lol.
Your pictures are just amazing if you’ve taken them yourself… I really like them. It makes me want to do photography now, lol. I find those matryoshka dolls really interesting. ^_^
Lol! We have those Russian dolls too!
I voted for you Oaty!
Kiss
Fendi
That matryoshka is really nice!
Congratulations and best of luck for the Bloggers’ Choice Award!
Ehh… I didn’t get rice from you!
Go back and give me some rice at Nice4Rice.com. You can use “Vote for fruityoaty.com” as the description for your site when you give Culture Shiok! some rice. 
Ooh, I love the matryoshka dolls! And I love the onion metaphor.
My bf gave me a matryoshka doll when he came back from Russia doing a concert.
Well, I think you just need a budge to pique up your blog writing interest again. I also had these kind of episodes from time to time.
Those Polish dolls are adorable. I hate hoarding junk. I always chuck everything out, including nearly 30 handbags just before Christmas! I think I donated them to charity.
And if a blog isn’t about whoring yourself all over the place, then we are all doing something wrong. Absolute shambles.
Take care.
Pretty Polish metaphor-slash-retort.
I like to consider myself as quirky, but I don’t think I’m wily enough. And I don’t see dead people. My sanity is thankful.
Too bad we technically don’t have Spring. I don’t do any cleaning. And I’m a procrastinator. No handbags for me. -_- But you do get my vote ms. fruityoshka.
Good thing I forgot to tag you, then. XD
I totally can say that I have no room to do spring cleaning ’cause when i moved over here, it was with 2 duffel bags, a carry on and like 4 boxes sent in the mail, 2 of which contained my computer.
Never a moment goes by that I’m not amused by your blog. You are one funny person. Lol. Those dolls are cute.
(I really don’t know what else to say…)
Good luck on the blog awards…
I have 2 sets of those nested dolls… They’re cute.
So are you doing any spring cleaning too?
Massa P, you know I’d vote for you with all my heart, if I could.
You JUST HAVE TO KEEP on blogging. Having been exposed to all your wholesome fruityness for so long, I know I’m one of the few who actually understand you, despite the non-transparency in your writing. Yet, every so often, you’ll have me scratching my head in delicious confusion. I think that’s why I keep returning… Yeah, for the food.
The Others: You are either referring to “Lost” the TV show and/or Nicole Kidman’s flick “The Others”. Seeing dead people versus seeing real “live” people? Gotcha.
As for a proper metaphor, how about the Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells?
It does show that your interest in blogging is waning. I miss reading your fruity entries. XD They made me hungry dang it!
Massa P, haha! I’m sorry! It isn’t my fault that I’m sooo poor I can’t even have a decent internet connection!
Seriously… thank you.
Oh no… I’m going to cry. 
*wipes tears*
Lol, my grandmother used to have those Russian dolls, too. I loved opening them and putting them together again. (Does this sound a little macabre?! Huh.)
I HOPE YOU WIN.
Like you, I see dead people too… Uh… no wait. They’re living breathing people who just look like shit.
Voted for you!!!
Finally!!! After so many attempts of trying to comment.
I had those kind of dolls back then. I don’t know where they are now.
I think they came from Vietnam or something. So, does it mean they’re fake? Haha.
Well, all of us need a blogging rejuvenation once in a while - change our layouts. That’s what I do, or maybe I get bored too easily with my blogging so I change my layout ALL the time. Haha.
Oh, I see dead people too. And I thought I was the only one. Hahaha.
Aww, voting is over. XD But you are right, plugs are only best when they aren’t spammed!
The pictures of the matryoshka are really cute. I love finding random things when you clean your room. It’s like finding a part of you that was missing for a point of time. I love that feeling.
Thank you sooo much for the vote! =)
Yeah, the book was wayyy better.
Thanks! You too!
Haha, nice layout; very creative! =DDD
3rd place for Filipino Blog of the Week! Still running this week.
You have a big chance now, I think…
You see dead people?
Ahh… I am inspired to do some Spring cleaning now.
Lol, I love your blog, it is strangely interesting. You also take amazing photos! ++ I should really get to cleaning my room!
I’m here from The Comment Whore! And that is quite an item…! I must say I was thinking the same thing about the tests that had to happen to get this to where it is today…! LOL!
A little whoring now and then doesn’t hurt anybody!
Hey, just wanna confirm your suspicions. I am the _____.
I wonder where can I buy these dolls in Los Angeles.