My friend reminded me that 2 days ago, Mar. 14 was Happy Pi Day. Pi Day is the celebration of Pi (Greek letter 
), that funky symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. You know, 3.141592653589… (Do you know your Pi shit backwards and forwards?) Truthfully, my nerdy friend challenged me into barfing up this post, lame as it is. Sigh. But Pi, ho hum, we’ve been there, done that and so, today you get pineapples! 
One thing is certain about Pi Day, mostly nerds (suffering from extreme lack of sex) celebrate this day by doing and eating stuff that tastes, sounds, feels, smells and looks Pi-ish. For example, these dudes will scarf up pine nuts, pies, pizzas, pitas… run 3.14 miles and other silly things. V-v-irgins, the whole lot. Like a v-v-v-virgin, touched for the very first time. Yeah kidding, Ponyboy (YOU). Peace. Go ahead, nerd it up. 
But I digress… pineapples. Being a Filipino (otherwise spelled as Pilipino), I know that the Spaniards introduced the pineapple to the Philippines many years ago. Since then, the Philippines has become the land of Dole and Del Monte and after Thailand, it is the 2nd largest pineapple-pimping country. In fact, the Philippine national costume by decree in 1975 is the “barong”, an embroidered formal garment (usually made of piña cloth — pineapple fibre) which dates back to the Spanish colonial era. Legend has it that the barong sprung from the ingenuity of a highly repressed society. Back in the day when the Spaniards were the masters, all Filipinos were forbidden from wearing any imported fabric. Oppression + defiance led to Filipinos creating their very own piña fabric. (Crap, this post is getting lamer every second.)
Growing up in Canada, the word pineapple was the bane of my existence. You see, my parents bestowed upon me a middle name that some stupid mean kids turned into “Pineapple”. Granted, it was a lot better than “Anna Banana”. (Poor, poor Anna.) Naturally, that name stuck until high school (new faces, new traumas, a fresh new hell). Fast forward to Architectural Design class (first year of University), a younger Pineapple asleep at the desk while Instructor Cool Gay Asian Dude says, “Architects often draw inspiration from nature yadda yadda. Did you know that math appears in nature? For example, Fibonacci numbers appear in pineapples blah blah.” Obviously, I was asleep throughout the yadda yaddas and the blah blahs, so don’t expect a frakkin’ explanation of Fibonacci numbers in pineapples. Anyway, I remember thinking, “Why the f**k would anyone want to live in a pineapple-shaped house?” Little did I know that one day, Mr. SpongeBob SquarePants would be living in a pineapple under the sea. I was so wrong.
Oh, and then there’s the Filipino folklore of how the pineapple came into existence. I heard this story from my Mom a few times. One upon a time, there was a little girl named Pina. She was so lazy and disobedient. When her mother asked her to do something or get something, lazy Pina would lie and say that she couldn’t find such and such to accomplish the tasks her mother had asked her to do. One day, the mother exclaimed, “I wish she had a hundred eyes!” Later on, Pina was playing in the garden, fell face down and could not get back up. Her face started growing roots into the soil. She evolved into Mutant X Pineapple. Despite being a lousy daughter, Pina’s mother took care of her Lil’ Mutant X and fertilized her frequently.
Gee, I wonder why my Mom likes to tell that story? It’s clear to me that the moral of this story is: a mother should never wish that her daughter would grow a hundred eyes because those capricious pagan gods might actually turn her kid into a big pineapple freak with many eyes. 
Speaking of eyes, after 5+ years, I finally got new, much nicer eyeglasses! Today, I picked up my eyeglasses with “Transitions” lenses (clear indoors and magically turn sunglass-dark brown outdoors) with “EasyClip” polarized magnetic clip-on shades (grey tint) for those extra sunny days. Oh, the frames are steely grey-purple (hmm, sorta like this blog, actually). While I won’t be seeing life through rose-coloured lenses, I can finally SEE AGAIN. Yes, this entire post has really been about my new eyeglasses (sure it is). Everything else has been an illusion. 
NEWSFLASH March 17, 2007 Filipino Blog of the Week - 2nd Place:
Pretty please, hop over to this site (scroll down on that page - the poll is on the left side) and continue to vote “fruityoaty” every day for Filipino Blog of the Week for Week 48. Congratulations to gwapasila (Lutchi) for capturing Week 47 #1 spot with 112/308 votes (36%) who also remains in the battle for Week 48. Well-deserved! (See, I can be gracious in defeat.)
Thanks guys for putting me in the #2 place with 77/308 votes (25%)! You guys rock! Because I placed in the Top 5 with the highest votes for Week 47, I get to battle for Week 48… so it ain’t over until the Fat Cat sings.
What do you get if you vote and I win Week 48? Undying love? Cash? If I win… then I hit the “Publish” button for a yet unwritten entry tentatively titled, “I Am Not a 30-something Gay Man”, otherwise my pretties, it stays in the kitty litter forever. The title is inspired by noteworthy comments and e-mail from loyal readers. (Paulie, Paulie… I Really Am Not a Gay Man.)
Adieu,
Ceci n’est pas un fruity
P.S. Note to fruity: When taking photos of fruit in an Asian grocery store, remember not to draw the attention of suspicious Chinese grocery clerks. Also, next entry - less lame, more fruity.
Good for you. You can buy fresh pineapples.
Happy weekend!
Kiss
Fendi
From Pi Day -> Pilipino -> Pineapples -> Piña -> to Pi Eyes
Like an Easter Egg hunt or possibly a beer pub crawl.
Nice long introduction about the eyeglasses.
I think I can relate when shooting photos anywhere, i.e. here in Thailand one is not allowed (well if there are guards) to take photos (even of yourself!) inside a mall. They have pretty good window displays in shops here that they don’t want the idea copied.
By the way, I can eat a whole pineapple alone! — I do love them!!!
“Ceci n’est pas un Pipe.”
(”This is not a Pipe.” - René Magritte, sheesh.)
Ceci n’est pas un Pi.
Ceci n’est pas un Pi________.
Ceci n’est pas un Pippi Longstocking.
Ceci est Piss Lame-o.
Another drunken Piña Colada-fueled entry, clearly.
Belated Happy Pi Day to you fruity! I love to eat pineapple especially with a bit of salt.
Hi. Great post.
Just to inform you that you managed to claim the 2nd spot! Congrats. You’re still on for this week.
Oh, you still get an award for getting 2nd place. If you like, you can claim it. Just visit the site.
DUDE! I know — it IS the love, man. It’s the love. You deserve to be voted for.
Dude — it’s all about math and algebra, isn’t it? *Sigh*
That’s a nice picture of pineapples, though. Yeah, pineapples are way better than bananas, if you ask me.
I guess you got off lucky?
Uhm, okay. Gotta eat stuff that tastes, sounds, feels, smells and looks Pi-ish. Not because I’m a nerd, but because of my extreme lack of sex. Harhar.
And geesh, that story is soooo overrated. I don’t even know why it keeps getting passed on from generation to generation. I agree with the moral of the story hehe.
Teehee! Vote fruityoaty!
Haha… I didn’t know that people actually celebrate Pi.
It makes stuff harder in school!
That’s so funny that there is a Pi Day. Cute. Oh, and pineapples are the best fruit ever.
I never knew there was such a thing as Pi Day, but yes, the things you find out through blogs indeed.
What’s your middle name btw, if you don’t mind me asking?
And yay for the new glasses! But, five years? If I’m not mistaken, I think you should have your lenses checked (then changed, if ever), at least every two years. Well, I’m no expert though, haha! But I am practically blind without my glasses so I have them changed quite often.
Hahaha! Pi Day? I’ve never heard of it until now. Your post is not that lame. It’s even educational! Haha! Joke.
My boyfriend (who is not a virgin) knows several digits of Pi and I believe someone else wished me a happy Pi Day. There is something horribly amiss here…
Pineapples sting my tongue if I eat too many. Fact for today.
Dear Goddess Kali, it’s me, Margaret!
So, can you tell my imaginary girlfriend that I am suffering from extreme lack of sex?
Excellent, even masterful! (And what do you SEE, really?)
I never took any offence.
I find it difficult to express myself online. I just thought what you said was funny and then remembered how Mike had randomly recited Pi digits!!!
That was an entertaining way to blog about your eyeglasses. Lol.
And yes, to not appeal to the pagan gods to do crazy shit is pretty much the moral of 99% of Pinoy folklore. ;p
Avoiding a social commentary, lemme just say that Dole + Del Monte = ‘Pineapple pimps’.
Off to vote for you.
So what did the suspicious Chinese grocery clerks do to you?
And did you move that one pineapple up front away from its friends before you took that pic? LOL! But I love the DOF on your pic.
Interesting. I didn’t know that there was actually a Pi Day. What’s more interesting is the discussion at the website entitled I love Pi because… Gee, I didn’t imagine that there are actually people who could love Pi more than anybody else.
Anyway, congrats on your new pair of eyeglasses.
In Denmark, a pineapple is called “Ananas”. Like A Nan Ass - which isn’t very funny at all.
Happy Pi Day!
Hmmm…
Wow, this post was royally lame. Is it intentional? Sounds rather fishy to me. Not bad per se; value it has.
P.s. What’s with all the math and science? What’s next? Experiments to determine if you put Max in a box or closet? Will he eat or make out with Schroedinger’s cat? Your blog is getting very Hofstadter-ific-esque-edness-ity.
P.p.s. What are you saying? Are you a gay man trapped in a lesbian’s body? Or you are not 30-something? Either way you are still quite gay or at least pi-sexual.
@Pedro: Ou’tis (and all your other funny fake names and schizo commenter personalities), I swear sometimes you’re so “on”, but today - getting colder (so far and wide) and weird.
What the frakk are you talking about? Eh? And yes, the post is lame (intentional). Did I not state it in there, somewhere, twice even? I was merely saying hello to a friend who celebrates Pi Day and playing connect the dots to my name and eyeglasses. LIKE A GAME OF SIX DEGREES OF LAMENESS.
“I’m Not a 30-something Gay Man” simply refers to the humourous e-mails and comments I’ve received from Paulie & Company (gay men) who have mistakenly inferred that “fruity” meant “gay man”. I’ve been meaning to write them a formal (funny) reply and to thank them for reading my blog.
You really gotta lay off the crack and Swiss Chalet Chicken. Oh, and Happy Pi Day! Did you vote for me? NUMBERS.
Happy belated Pi Day. =P May the nerds of the world rejoice. =P
Hmm… I never thought so much about pineapples. I didn’t start liking them until like a year ago. But they make me think of Hawaii because we would always bring them back to the mainland whenever we would visit there. Thus trips to Hawaii make me think of this one time we were going through security there and they thought my brother had a banana in his bag… so random. Then they had him do the ‘random bomb test’ thing where they had to check his shoes for whatever bomb type things may be in them… but he was wearing flip flops…
So, what you’re really saying is that you’re a pineapple trapped in a singing fat cat’s body. Yup, gotcha.
And you have “3.14″ alternate personalities: Max the Fat Cat, Nikki Sanders, Jessica Sanders and .14 of juicy, fresh pineapple?
Yes, this all totally makes sense now!
Mukhang masarap ha.
By the way you might be interested in: Infidel Links #1
Awww… that’s weird. I’ve never heard of Pi Day! Ahahaha… but at least I’m aware of it now. Ahahaha.
Take Care!
-xoxo-
Wow… lots of words in here. Let’s see, you started to blab about Pi - barongs - pineapples in Canada - Legend of the Pineapple - eyeglasses… whew!
Belated happy Pi Day!
Me wanna eat Pineapples now.
I never knew I could learn so much (about pineapples and everything else!) just by reading your post.
I’ve always loved pineapples.
And I’m getting this weird feeling I’m gonna be dreaming of Pi and pineapple-pimping tonight.
Hmm… sounds kinda kinky…
So much info about pineapples! I love them personally, especially in Piña Coladas! Hehe. That was actually quite interesting to read… and the SpongeBob SquarePants part made me laugh… (I haven’t grown out of watching pointless kids cartoons.)
Thanks for all the info!!
Hope you’re enjoying your eyeglasses!!
I’ve never heard of people celebrating Pi Day before… which kind of scares me since I’m a nerdy virgin. Shouldn’t I be celebrating?
I didn’t count the pineapples… It looks like one is missing…
You wanna know more about Pi? Check my “A Beautiful Mind” post and you’ll know what i mean.
God, that was a long story!
I am a nerd suffering from lack of sex (OK, sincerely, a nerd who will never get to have sex), and I had pizza that day. I never expected a scientific explanation for that, actually.
I just knew that March 14th was Albert Einstein’s birthday.
And I never knew the whole story behind this!
Fake names and SCHIZO? We prefer manifold soul. (Besides, people who live in Pineapple houses shouldn’t be throwing mixed metaphors or mixed drinks.)
I am neither warm or close, I would say, ‘mu’. To clarify: I was not saying your post was lame. I was alluding to Grail Mythology… I said royally lame and fishy –> maimed king + Fisher King –> to the French, Roi Pecheur or in this case Roy P. Echeur. I placed the homophone ‘Not bad per se; value it has’. If you had said that out loud and with the use of appropriate pausing –> “Not bad, Perceval, you it has.” That was my actual comment message.
Re: Cats. I was referring to the uncertainty of how as long as you don’t ‘open the box’, the readership will not know your gender / orientation. That probably makes it more interesting… however in the world of the Internet… whatever you say could be a lie. Is fruityoaty a Gay Man blogging about being a Butterfly / Chuang Tzu? Or a Butterfly blogging like a Gay Man?
Maybe you aren’t even a Pinoy, I have noticed no mention of BALUT.
Randomly,
Roy P. Echeur
@Pedro: Ah, but how can you be so certain that I’m not feigning ignorance about your “Roy P. Echeur” name? Since, Pedro… you’ve used this joke about 5 times now (I have an e-mail to prove it) in the last 5 years. Plus, you’re talking smack to a person who owns a pair of Monty Python’s Killer Rabbit Slippers. Oh, how they speak to me that the world will end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds. Bite me - I like to recycle as do you, Percival.
The only part I wasn’t familiar with is “Hofstadter” (Wikipedia enlightened me). Nice one. I’ll add that to my bag of Cat Tricks.
But really, wouldn’t I get MORE HITS if I was another Bryanboy: Le Superstar Fabuleux - Planet Earth’s Favourite Third World Fag? This Pinoy fruitcake gets huge hits.
Balut? Only if I was extremely drunk on mixed drinks and wanted a Close Encounter with Sigourney Weaver’s Alien Pals. See, that’s where I draw the line on being Pinoy. But YOU should eat one. It’ll grow hair on your chest. A growing boy needs vitamins.
And was I not successful in luring out the lurker troll in you?
Calculating percentages of comments from lurker pals,
Pedro’s Pal
How do I know, you don’t know, what I don’t know about what you know about what I know? The answer is I know, you know I know you know, but that you already knew.
Balut: No thanks, I already have chest hairs and desire not to vomit violently.
I probably need an IP spoofer.
Careful you don’t fall down thru the cellar door with those slippers, they look slippery.
Did you just say, “talking smack”? What is this “You Got Served?”
Let he who is without sense, cast the first pun.
You should have put the new glasses on the pineapple and took a pic… I wanna see what they look like!
Congrats on #2 for week #47. I’m sure week #48 is in the bag!
All my love, fruity.
(You write so infrequently now. 
Why?)
Happy belated Pi Day to you!
I just wanted to thank you for commenting on a few of my LiveJournal entries. The murals you described sound really cool, and you sure did leave a lasting impression!
Okay… Happy Pi Day sounds very weird. Like someone had too much free time. *laughs* Well, Pi is quite a nice number, but a whole day for it???
I never knew that there’s a day for the greek alphabet Pi. Does this mean that it’s possible to have a special day dedicated to me?
I thought it’s Pina
and not Piña. Anyway, that folklore is the only folklore that I know. Yep… but I’ve lived in the Philippines for all of my life. 
And the keyword just has to be food. ^_^
Anyway, just thought I’d answer you here. I’m really patient when it comes to blogs I love.
And don’t you worry, as soon as the title of your latest post comes into view, I click on it quickly. 
But then, it’s really not easy to have a 31.2 kbps connection. Teehee. It’s actually quite faster than normal dial-up speed (which is a pathetic 28.8 kbps).
Tralalala. I really need to think about the money. *sighs*
Mmmmmm… pineapple…(Homer Simpson voice). That story about the girl… kinda gross. Lol.
I think I would get nightmares if my mom told me that story! Lol. 
Wow, I have never heard of Pi Day before! XD I might celebrate it next year if it means I can sit around and eat pie or pizza all day. But running 3.14 miles? Okay, they’re just weird. Yup, definitely nerds.