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OK, I know… this entry is a bit untimely, but better late than never. I do things in my own good time. I’m just fashionably late. I would’ve posted on Valentine’s Day, but I was too busy wallowing in my single-minded misery… ehrr, just kidding. Yes, Happy Singles Awareness Day to all the members of Club Med for Singles. And to everyone with a significant other, screw you. Kidding! I got to thinking… it’s not so bad being single on Valentine’s Day… and on any day, really. I can give you 5 + 12 = 17 good reasons!

Top 5 Reasons Why It’s Great To Be Single on Valentine’s Day

1. You can buy your own boxes of chocolates. You don’t have to share them with Mr. or Ms. Valentine. They’re all yours, baby.
2. Me, myself and I… No need to shop for anyone but YOU! Go buy yourself some high quality chocolates, NOW.
3. Romantic candlelight dinners can adversely affect your eyesight. Dim lighting will strain your eyes as you lovingly gaze at your chocolates.
4. You get to cuddle up in bed with a good box of chocolaty goodness. Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea), Creole lady Marmalade! Rawrr!
5. You don’t have to pretend you like the gift Mr. or Ms. Valentine gave you because you bought a gift all for yourself… chocolate. And who doesn’t like chocolate? If you don’t, what’s wrong with you, really?

And what about the other 364 days in a year, you ask? Well, my friend, here’s the fruity & oaty answer to your rescue (or damnation)!

Top 12 Reasons Why It’s OK Tolerable To Be Single on Any Day

I’ve layed out the Top 12 compelling, chocolaty reasons on a shiny, square white plate. Pretty? Starting from the top, left to right, in numbered order:

1. Triangolo: Crunchy hazelnut gianduja filling coated with nibbed hazelnuts in milk chocolate
2. Alletto: Milk chocolate with aromatic walnut filling and roasted nibbed hazelnuts
3. Cubanita: Milk chocolate with a combination of almond cream and rum truffle filling
4. Comtesse: White chocolate with almond cream filling and biscuit granules
5. Truffle noire: Dark chocolate with truffle filling
6. Truffle au lait: Milk chocolate with truffle filling
7. Arabia: Finest coffee filling in milk chocolate
8. Espresso: Dark chocolate with coffee filling
9. Noblesse: Milk chocolate with whole hazelnut in finest caramel and hazelnut cream filling *DROOL, THIS IS MY FAVOURITE! Yes, these babies are noble and royal. Bow down to them, but stop drooling.*
10. Sienna: Exquisite almond pistachios filling with nibbed pistachios in dark chocolate
11. Grenoble: Walnut marzipan covered with milk chocolate, decorated with half a walnut
12. Capri: Milk chocolate with hazelnut brittle filling

And more reasons! Click on a thumbnail image below to enlarge photo:

A 500g box of Swiss Delice Sélection Prestige du Chocolatier, premium chocolate since 1887 from Switzerland’s No. 1 chocolate maker. 4% daily value of fibre and 4% daily value of calcium per 40g serving. Nutritious.

According to these words found inside Pandora’s Chocolate Box:

“The SWISS DELICE brand guarantees the finest quality and art of confectionery. The secret of the exquisite, melt-in-the mouth taste has a long tradition: fine, original Swiss recipes handed down from one generation to the next have been used since 1887. Connoisseurs of SWISS DELICE pralines trust the skills and experience of Swiss Maîtres Chocolatiers. Each praline is a composition, crafted from the finest ingredients. Strict manufacturing processes and quality controls ensure the genuine taste of SWISS DELICE pralines.”

Now, speaking as a Software Tester slash Quality Assurance Analyst, I feel qualified in telling y’all that these chocolates are indeed of the finest quality and art of confectionery. I FULLY tested them, uh-huh.

So, embrace your singlehood, my friends, because there are so many good reasons within reach of your chocolate-smeared, pudgy, wrinkled and disfigured hands. Have yourself a delicious Swiss experience today! Oh, Swiss Delice… It’s the gift that keeps on giving and giving… calories.

Umm, did this entire post come off as a big 500g serving of melt-in-the mouth pathetic? Yes, yes it did… because Massa P (aka “fruity”) will always guarantee it! And please, stop drooling and crying all over your computer, OK? Sheesh, get a hold of yourself, man!

Adieu,

fruity Swiss Delice

P.S. And no, Swiss Delice did NOT pay me to plug their chocolate products, however, I would do it for an annual supply of Swiss Delice. Swiss Delice PR reps, you can contact me via my Contact form! LMAO.