I recently trekked to Square One Shopping Centre with my parents and survived over 2 hours of Christmas (c)rush, ridiculous crowds, recirculated stale air, fluorescent lighting, advertising bombardment, mall muzak and the deafening drone of zombies. But don’t get me wrong, Square One is a nice mall by average standards and I totally dig shopping and capitalism in theory and practice. It’s just that I sometimes dread the large shopping mall scene - loud, busy, ugly and impersonal. I try to avoid it, if possible.
Square One is located in Mississauga, Ontario (Canada), a city whose mayor was born in the Middle Ages. Mayor “Hurricane Hazel” McCallion, known for her feisty, no-nonsense politics has served the city for almost 30 years. I’ve long suspected that she might have actually died several years ago and has been propped up in Weekend at Bernie’s fashion by crazy fanatics. Some Hazel magic Kool-Aid fueled citizens worship her so much that 4 bobbleheads in her likeness were made to honour her. Hey, for CDN $ 24 + $ 6.95 shipping & handling + tax, you too can buy your own very own Mayor Hazel McCallion Fishing Edition Bobblehead! (Yes, I am going to be killed by Mississaugans.)
But I digress… oh yes, the shopping mall, that dreadful monument to mass consumerism. As an Architecture student dropout, I will tell you that ALL shopping malls are designed to be absolutely confusing so that consumers will wander around aimlessly, spending money, trapped like rats in a maze.
Anyway, the Square One ordeal wasn’t all bad although I did feel dazed going past my 1.5 hour mall tolerance limit. I got to see its magnificently cheesy Santa’s Castle and snapped several photos - testaments to my lack of photography skills, my craptastic camera and flagrant disregard for any “no taking pictures inside malls” rules.
On a totally different note (uh-huh), what exactly is The Rat Within the Grain, Damien Rice? And holy rat shit, more than 1/2 the songs on your latest album “9” totally suck. A lot.
Click on a thumbnail image below to enlarge photo:
Yeah, no photos of Santa, the fat jolly dude. Well, the guy they hired certainly looked fat but not so jolly.
Oh yes, another Chinese New Year is upon us in a month and a half. Not the Year of the Rat (e.g. those born in 2006), but the oink, oink Pig, Babe. Yes, I know, I’m not Chinese.
Adieu,
fruity and say cheese, rat
We Mississaugans will lynch, tar and feather you and then hang your lifeless body from the Square One glass ceiling.
You have besmirched our Dear Hazel’s name!
It is my life’s dream to collect all 4 Hazel bobbleheads. LOL. I’m just missing the limited Baywatch Edition. One day, eBay!
I’d feel jealous too if I lived in *******n, but there is no reason to playa-hate on Hazel.
Ah, trying to rile up specific Mississaugans? Is it working?
Why do I sense you actually WANT one of those bobbleheads? You admire Hazel, admit it.
o0o0o this is a cute site.
I really like the pictures too and the falling snow on the site. 
I hear you on mall tolerance - you just reach a point that you just need to get out. Luckily, I even managed to avoid the Eaton Centre this year.
That bobblehead is one of the creepiest things I have ever seen, but Santa Land looks AWESOME! I wish I could have gone!
xoxo
Great mall. I think that is the only mall in the GTA that didn’t skimp on the Santa’s Castle. Most places just have a few large candy canes and a big seat for Santa to sit on.