fruityoaty.com

Get your mind out of the gutter (YOU-know-who-YOU-are) because I will NOT, as the post title may imply only in YOUR imagination, be delving into a discussion on some sort of ehrr… sexual technique or position. Yessir, fruityoaty.com is and always will be porn-free (not free porn). (Message for YOU: that’s 2, count ‘em). Oh, OK, I will freely admit that the post title was actually a result of a lame bet I had with a friend after a funny discussion about the uses of Wikipedia and only partially inspired by the Billy Idol stipple drawing in this post.

This tool called WikiCharts can show, for example, the “most viewed” articles from the English Wikipedia (the query is not top searches but top visited pages). It’s no surprise that the list is peppered with sex-related terms such as “list of sex positions”. Apparently, 3 people performing the oral nasty in a triangular configuration is called the isosceles lock. (OK, I didn’t lie at all - I’m not delving into a discussion on sex positions, it’s MATH!) An isosceles triangle, if you recall, is a triangle with 2 equal sides (1 point if you remembered that). Remember all your math teachers trying to tell you that math has practical uses? See, they were right all along! This tool shows that umm, educational list as #6 in Aug. 2006, #7 in Sep. 2006 and currently #10 in Oct. 2006. Hmm, slight dip in October.

OK, right about now, you might be wondering about the specifics of the lame bet and why there’s a drawing of Billy Idol with a bad outbreak of smallpox or measles. My friend had joked that I could probably boost readership with sexually suggestive post titles (the only rule of the bet is that they must not be overtly lewd) and I countered, “How would I do that? My next post is just a stipple doodle of Billy Idol.” (Well, I suppose it would be easy since Billy was an expert on sex, drugs and rock ‘n roll.) Stippling, for the uniniated, is the technique of using small dots to simulate varying degrees of solidity or shading. (See, check out all the Wikipedia links in this post. I use ‘em a lot, don’t I?)

Anyway, on to the real reason for this post. Doodle, diddle, stipple and stroke. Once in a blue moon, I like to test my semi-arthritic (kidding!) hand muscles (YOU, don’t even go there) by stippling. Stippling requires some hand dexterity, precision and patience. After a while, it can get repetitive and feel a little bit like Tourette syndrome (no offense to those afflicted with this). I like to draw the same composition (Billy) so that way I can easily review how far my skills have deteriorated. Apples to apples comparison.

Yeah, OK, so the result of this round of Woody Woodpecker activity is not stellar. Kinda looks like a rabid case of something ghastly, perhaps a sexually transmitted disease. Damn, yo, I’m losing my mad stipplin’ skillz.

Dear friend (YOU), I’ll stick to other less lascivicious methods of boosting blog readership (of the public parts, anyway). I installed a WordPress plugin called Optimal Title which allows you to easily have your blog name tacked on to the end of the page title instead of having it appear first (default WordPress setting). For example, Doodle, Diddle Stipple and Stroke >> fruityoaty. Apparently, this is a good thing because it provides more meaningful search engine results and browser bookmark names.

Adieu,

fruity doodle

P.S. Since this is a long ramble anyway, I would like to add that all my outbound links to other sites are always checked by me and my multitude of spyware and antivirus tools (I’m a software tester, after all). I will never carelessly direct a reader to a site that may harm their computer (or mine, really). All my 9 readers (what a pitiful number, hahaha) are people I know, so I don’t really want to be lynched by them. Die, spyware. Peace, out.