Searching for Sex in All the Wrong Places

Admit it, the title got your attention. Perked up those pervy eyes, huh? Yes, s-e-x sells. Now, before y’all presume that this is a post about ME “searching for sex in all the wrong places”, I’ll nip that thought in the bud. No, it most definitely is NOT. Besides, I always know where to look for sex… ehrrr, strike that, let’s not go there. This post is about what my dear readers (YOU) are entering in this blog’s Search box. The first 5-day results are amusing (to me at least).

Go ahead, click on the thumbnail to the left to view full-size image. Your pervy eyes are dying to know the results…

I installed a buggy, but still nifty little WordPress plugin called Search Meter which tracks the search terms entered by people. Within my WordPress admin view, I can see the searches made “yesterday, today, last 7 days and last 30 days”. It doesn’t show me who made them, but it shows me the terms (the text that was searched), searches (the number of times the term was searched), hits (the number of posts that were returned from the last search for a term), and the stats for searches that yielded no results.

I suppose it is useful for bloggers who want to write topics based on the more popular search terms submitted… sort of a give ‘em what they want strategy. That’s not going to happen here on fruityoaty.com. Crazy fruity writes for crazy fruity and that’s that.

Since the birth of my blog on August 29, 2006, I reset the Search Meter. Before y’all accuse me of tampering with the results, I did NOT use the Search box after the reset. All current results are based on YOU, my dear readers (and I can count the piddlin’ number of readers on my 8 fingers and 2 scarred thumbs).

Let me sum up the results by droppin’ the search terms into people / behaviour categories (heh):

Horn Dawgs { I can guess who YOU are }: sex, girl on girl action, naked booty, porn, suck cock
Tester Wannabes / Hackers: 1 + 1 < 3, < script >, < script language=’Javascript’ >, can you see my search words?, ooo .. bad search words!!!
Bored & Has Nothing Better To Do (see related Tester Wannabe’s): hehe, d’oh, hmm, lllllllll, meh, fruity oaty
Vanity Seekers Or People I Know: Hodges
Lonely Existentialist: meaning of life
Dropped at Birth: secret posts

My final thoughts on the above:

To the Lonely Existentialist - You’re just not going to find the meaning of life in a blog, let alone mine…
To Dropped at Birth - Do you really think that you’ll find secret posts by entering “secret posts” in the Search box? Seriously, I’m not stupid enough to tag my secret posts with the words “secret posts”, but I AM stupid enough to tag them “private”. That was a joke, in case it flew over you.
To all the Horn Dawgs - Take a cold shower. This blog is Rated PG.

Oh, lastly, I did notice 2 OBVIOUS bugs in the Search Meter plugin (a Tester Wannabe or Bored & Has Nothing Better To Do… indirectly helped). The plugin seems to double up the numbers in the Searches column and erroneously counts 404 page/no results as 1 hit. I either have to fix those myself with my fledgling (or is that floundering, yes?) PHP skills (or lack thereof), notify the plugin author of his booboo OR mentally divide the numbers by 2 every time I look at the stats. Ummm yeah, contact the plugin author, it’ll be.

Adieu,

fruity

[ EDIT: The plugin author has fixed the "duplicate search results" bug in version 2.1 released on November 19, 2006. Tested it - fixed! Yay! Whatever. Hehehe. ]

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